Harriette Cole: I got up and walked out of the date. Was I really too harsh?

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a single, independent 40-year-old woman with two children. I work a full-time job in the health industry to provide for my family. I have been separated from my husband for over five years, and I am dating other people.

I recently went on a first date with a guy I met through friends. We went to a coffee shop, and things were running smoothly until he said he needed a woman to provide for him. I got up out of my seat, walked out of the coffee shop, went to my car and blocked him.

My friends who set me up think I was being harsh by leaving him following his comment; however, as a single mother who provides for herself and her children, I don’t think I owe a man anything.

Was I wrong for leaving the date?

— Independent Woman

DEAR INDEPENDENT WOMAN: Your abrupt reaction could have been smoother, but he certainly got the point.

It would have been more mature of you to stop him and tell him that his desire is a deal-breaker, and for you the date is now over. At least he would have a chance to know what was going on and not be completely embarrassed.

Clearly, he struck a nerve, and you reacted strongly. You don’t owe him anything, but good manners go a long way. And you absolutely did not exercise good manners at that moment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor’s dog keeps digging up our yard and leaving feces there. I have gone over to my neighbor and tried to address this issue, but her dog continues to destroy our yard.

I suggested that she get a fence, and she said they were looking into it, but I don’t think they are going to because fences can be very expensive.

At first, I tried to be understanding because I know that dogs can be difficult to keep under control and I didn’t want to create tension with my neighbor. However, this has been happening repeatedly, and it is becoming increasingly frustrating to have to clean up after someone else’s dog and deal with the damage to our property.

We have put time and effort into maintaining our yard, and it is upsetting to see it constantly being dug up and damaged.

How can I set a firm boundary with my neighbor while still keeping things civil? At what point should I stop being patient and take further action to protect my property?

— No Boundaries

DEAR NO BOUNDARIES: It is time to take action. Go to your neighbor and tell her you need her to solve this issue immediately so her dog no longer has the ability to defecate in your yard and destroy it.

Suggest that she invest in an electronic fence, essentially a collar that lightly zaps the dog if it attempts to cross the perimeter into your yard. Many dog owners have these, and they are considered safe. Shy of that, or until she has a fence remedy, tell her she is now responsible for shoveling up the feces and filling in the holes daily, or else you will call nonemergency services in your town.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.