Harriette Cole: Hey, Mr. Work Van, this is why there’s no second date

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently while at a friend’s barbecue, I met a nice guy. I asked my friend who he was and whether we might be a good match, and she had only good things to say about him.

I exchanged numbers with this guy and we went on our first — and last — date.

To start, he picked me up in a lime-green work van. He’d just come from work, so he changed his clothes in the back of his van while I was present.

He brought me to a dive bar with a limited menu, so I only ordered drinks. But when his own food came, he tried to feed me a chicken wing! I tried not to seem shocked when he held it up to my lips, but I couldn’t help it.

I went home knowing that I did not want to go out with him again, so I texted him saying that something platonic would be best, especially given our mutual friends.

He continues to text, call and leave voicemails asking for another chance. How do I ditch him without being disrespectful, especially considering we’ll likely see each other again?

— Mutual Friends

DEAR MUTUAL FRIENDS: Seems like it was mostly optics that turned you off about this guy. So be it. Just remind him you don’t think you two make a great fit. Eventually, he will stop reaching out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old nephew’s teeth are rotting, and my brother and sister-in-law are choosing to ignore it instead of taking him to the dentist.

My nephew had poor dental hygiene growing up and rarely brushed his teeth. Over the years, I have noticed that his dental health has gotten progressively worse, and now it has reached a point where it is noticeable. His teeth appear to be decaying, and I am concerned that he may be experiencing pain or discomfort, even if he does not openly complain about it.

I have tried bringing up the issue with my brother and sister-in-law, but they don’t seem to understand how serious the situation could be. They keep putting off making a dentist appointment, saying that they will get around to it, but months have gone by, and nothing has changed.

What concerns me most is that my nephew is only 14, and he is still dependent on his parents to make medical and dental appointments for him. He may not fully understand the long-term consequences of neglecting his teeth, and I don’t think he should have to deal with a serious dental problem because the adults around him aren’t taking action.

I also don’t want to overstep my boundaries or create conflict within the family. Do you think I should step in and say something — or even make an appointment for him?

— Rotten

DEAR ROTTEN: Research the cost of dental care without insurance so that you have a sense of what you can do to help your nephew if needed.

Take him to a dentist for an evaluation and cleaning. Get an assessment (preferably in writing) of what he needs to restore health to his mouth. Present that to his parents. If you can, offer to help facilitate his appointments.

They likely will be mad and embarrassed. Your nephew’s health is more important than their feelings.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.