Harriette Cole: Nothing’s wrong, but my mind won’t settle down

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling with anxiety for years now.

As those who experience anxiety know, it ebbs and flows depending on a plethora of factors both in and out of my control. My anxious thoughts stem from a childhood with many unexpected and uncontrollable changes. As a result, feeling unsure or not being able to predict what’s next is a trigger for me.

Well, life is, by nature, unpredictable. Although everything is fine, I’m still experiencing strong waves of anxious feelings.

I’m not sure how to fix something when there’s nothing wrong. I’ve been told it’s normal to have these types of emotional waves, even when things are OK. My unconscious mind is still trying to protect itself, even if there is no danger present.

I understand it will take time to adjust and that I am not a machine. How do you think I should begin the healing process?

— Anxiousness

DEAR ANXIOUSNESS: Work with your care provider on coping strategies, including breathwork, exercise and establishing a routine to help balance the anxious thoughts. If you see a psychiatrist, discuss medications at the right dosages to help regulate your system, and be consistent in taking the medication.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a response for “Want To Be Patriotic,” who asked how to be a proud American amid the divide in the U.S.

For one, stop watching CNN and Fox News.

Secondly, treat each person as an individual. Stop seeing people as a group as all rich, all poor, all of a particular race or ethnicity, social status, educational status, etc. There is goodness in all types of people, just as there is evil in all types. A person of lower income can be just as greedy as a person of higher income and vice versa.

Thirdly, America has an opportunity of abundance for anyone with the tenacity not to quit. Just look at the examples of citizens who have gone from poverty to riches. Many people who are on TV or are heads of corporations at one time waited tables, slept in cars or worked more than one job to make ends meet.

Fourthly, go to any store with a person from another country and watch tears in their eyes when they see we have several types of rice, meats, light bulbs, etc.

We are one of the few countries in the world that if we see a problem, private individuals have the right to help participate in the solution. We do not have to depend on the government to solve it. If you’re interested in homelessness, volunteer or donate to Habitat for Humanity. Give to food banks to assist those who face hunger.

Treat each person as an individual, and accept that person may be having a bad day. It’s not always about you; give grace. Remember you have not walked in their shoes, nor have they walked in yours. Don’t expect everyone to think like you, act like you or process thoughts like you.

Pray for others — if you believe in prayer. Do not pass your anger on to the next person of a certain race, financial status, educational level, etc.

Proud to be an American? Yes!

— Proud To Be An American

DEAR PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN: Amen!

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.