Harriette Cole: My cousin is a jet-setting doctor, and I find myself resenting her success

DEAR HARRIETTE: For our whole lives, my cousin has had it so much easier than me.

Our moms are sisters, and we were born only a year apart. Growing up, her family was significantly wealthier and more connected than mine. As a result, she went to Harvard and became a dermatologist, and her husband got super-rich from selling a tech company he founded a few years back.

I went to a small college in the Midwest and ended up becoming a teacher. I love my career, and I know that being a teacher is meaningful work, but sometimes I can’t help but compare my life to hers.

Whenever our family gets together, everyone talks about her accomplishments, her career, her husband and all the places they travel. It feels like she has everything I wish I had, and I find myself wondering what my life would have looked like if I had grown up with the same opportunities and resources she did.

I genuinely want to be happy for her, but I struggle with resentment because it feels like she was handed so many advantages while I had to work much harder to get where I am.

How can I stop comparing myself to my cousin and learn to feel genuinely happy with where I am in life?

— No Comparison

DEAR NO COMPARISON: Pivot away from sizing up your life to your cousin’s. Focus on you.

What is great about your life? What makes you happy? What do you want, and how can you get it? Learn to value yourself for your contributions.

I knew a family in which one son became a wealthy entertainment executive, while another became an artist. The artist never had the money his brother did, but he did have confidence in himself and clarity about his life. He was able to sometimes collaborate with his brother and other times be totally on his own. He did not allow his brother’s success to define or diminish him.

You can do the same. Live your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the summer, I began working out and watching what I eat to stay more fit and active.

I have been buying healthy foods and cooking more, along with running and doing calisthenics. I have progressed from running only a mile to more than five miles in less than an hour.

I am nervous that with school starting back up, I will be too busy to properly take care of myself like I have been. I always prioritize my studies and work, but I also want to prioritize my fitness this year.

Do you have any suggestions on how to balance taking care of myself, going to school and working?

— Busy Student

DEAR BUSY STUDENT: Create a daily schedule that includes fitness and overall health. Carve out an hour to run, even if it requires you getting up an hour earlier. Schedule grocery visits to ensure you have healthy food.

Just as you make time for schoolwork, prioritize your life in detail, and check off each accomplishment along the way.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.