Harriette Cole: How do I encourage my son after 400 job rejections?

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is having a difficult time finding a job after graduating with his computer science degree. He graduated last May and still hasn’t been able to land a job after applying to more than 400 job postings.

He has been beside himself with anxiety, stress and embarrassment. Not being able to find a job has heavily affected his mental health, and it’s hard to see my son this way.

He was such a motivated student throughout college and worked incredibly hard to earn his degree. He completed internships, participated in coding projects and even spent months preparing for technical interviews because he thought those things would help him stand out.

Despite all his hard work, he either gets rejection emails or never hears back from employers. I keep reminding him that the job market is difficult right now, but I can tell those words aren’t enough anymore. He worries the longer he’s unemployed, the less likely companies will be to hire him.

As his mother, I feel helpless because I want to encourage him, but I don’t know what else to say or do. I hate watching him lose confidence in himself after everything he has accomplished.

How can I help my son through this difficult time?

— Saving My Son

DEAR SAVING MY SON: I have two ideas for you. Have him go to a career center where he can present his pitch for a job to get their feedback. Ask them to review his résumé and cover letter to see whether they can recommend edits to make them stronger.

Also, if he is applying for jobs through online job sites that are completely generic, he should remember that thousands of people are competing with him. It’s time to turn to businesses where he might be able to make a personal contact — either by personally taking his application or otherwise finding someone to deliver his materials to in person.

He may want to consider volunteering at a local nonprofit that needs support. He could create an internship for himself where he uses his skills, which shows that he has been working while unemployed. He would legitimately be doing a job as close as he can to his interests as he continues to search. This should help boost his confidence.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am coming out of a few months of depression that feels more traumatizing now than it did in the moment.

Now that I have an opportunity to look back, I realize how much stress I was enduring. Honestly, I’m proud of myself for making it through such trying times.

As I’m working through the aftermath, I find it difficult to release the internal tension that the situation caused. I’m still having panic attacks, although they are getting less frequent. In a way, my body feels like it’s still processing past experiences, even if my mind is in the present.

I’m considering starting therapy again; however, therapy is usually more than mental help for me — it’s also a physical relief. I was thinking about picking up a sport as well as a way of working through the physical tension.

What activities would you recommend for depression recovery?

— Recovery

DEAR RECOVERY: I am not a therapist, so I strongly recommend you ask yours for specific ideas. I can say that clean eating, drinking lots of water and moving your body are important to overall mental health. The simple act of walking is excellent for your body and mind.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.