Harriette Cole: We’ve had one date and I want more, but he won’t text me back

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a date with a guy the other night, and I really liked him.

Throughout the night, I felt like I was giving him a lot of signals that I like him, but I felt like he was giving mixed signals back.

There were moments when he seemed engaged in our conversation. He asked me questions about myself, laughed at my jokes and made good eye contact. At times, I felt like we had a genuine connection. However, there were other moments that left me confused. Sometimes he seemed distracted or distant, and there were instances where I felt like he was treating me more like a friend than someone he was interested in dating.

By the end of the night, I couldn’t tell where I stood. I liked him, and he checked all the boxes of the type of man I could finally see myself settle down with, so I really want him to like me.

I know that first dates can be awkward and that not everyone expresses interest in the same way, but I’m struggling with the uncertainty.

I texted him after our date and told him I had a really good time and would love to go on another date, but I haven’t heard anything for two days. Do you think I should follow up with him or take it as a sign he’s not interested?

— Is He Interested?

DEAR IS HE INTERESTED?: Back off for now. You probably came on a bit strong. You sound clingy and overly hopeful. That kind of energy, unfortunately, can repel someone.

Don’t do anything else for now. If he is interested, he will come back around.

In the future, try to enjoy dates without constantly evaluating if someone is “the one.” That’s a lot of pressure. Just be present and enjoy the moment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My closest cousin recently passed away due to her age. It was a big shock to the entire family.

Growing up, she always made me feel welcomed on her side of the family, took time to show me around our city and even helped me move into college. She was more than just a cousin; she was a true friend and confidante. We often spoke about things she wouldn’t tell others, and I got to see a side of her that many people will never get to experience.

She leaves behind a son who is a couple of years younger than me, and I know she would want me to provide guidance as much as I can.

As his older cousin, I want to make sure I come across as relatable while still remaining trustworthy. How would you recommend I offer my help to him in this time of need?

— Cousin’s Love

DEAR COUSIN’S LOVE: Take a page out of his mom’s book. Cultivate a consistent and loving relationship with your cousin. Build trust by proving that you will be there for him and always be open and honest.

Share stories of your journey and his mother’s — as appropriate. Be an attentive listener.

Since you are adults who are similar in age, be mindful of his sensitivities around vulnerability. It may take time for him to open up. Just be there for him.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.