{"id":942,"date":"2026-06-01T10:40:37","date_gmt":"2026-06-01T10:40:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942"},"modified":"2026-06-01T10:40:37","modified_gmt":"2026-06-01T10:40:37","slug":"harriette-cole-ive-grown-up-so-much-at-college-and-my-friends-at-home-havent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> Do you think it\u2019s possible to outgrow certain people and friendships?<\/p>\n

Read more Horoscopes June 1, 2026: Morgan Freeman, be receptive to new concepts<\/a><\/p>\n

Recently, I\u2019ve been feeling like I could move on from some childhood friendships. I moved away for college, and I can\u2019t relate to some old friends who stayed in our small hometown. I\u2019m growing at a rapid pace, living on my own in New York and navigating problems on my own; people from my hometown can\u2019t even believe it.<\/p>\n

Some of the conversations I have with people I once felt so close to now lack nuance, leaving me uninterested in talking. It\u2019s almost as if I\u2019ve grown up while at college, and they\u2019ve stayed in their same high school mindset.<\/p>\n

I feel like it\u2019ll be cruel if I completely stop talking to them, but I also have no desire to make an effort to reach out. Do you have any advice on how to navigate this?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Evolution of Friendship<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR EVOLUTION OF FRIENDSHIP:<\/strong> Not everybody stays close for life. It is natural that as you have new experiences and your world expands, your interests may change. That doesn\u2019t mean you have to let your childhood friends go, but you will likely talk with them less.<\/p>\n

The best thing you can do is accept them for who they are. Don\u2019t judge them \u2014 or yourself. Just be with them when the moment calls for it. Listen to learn what they are interested in discussing, and be fully present in those conversations. When you are around others who want to explore other topics, engage them in that way. Go with the flow.<\/p>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> One of my closest friends is currently dealing with so many family issues it\u2019s hard to count.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

At the beginning of the semester, her parents separated and filed for divorce due to her father having an affair that spanned her parents\u2019 entire marriage. After finding out about the affair, her mother, a recovering alcoholic, relapsed and had to be hospitalized.<\/p>\n

Read more Asking Eric: Should I tell our aunt why the family has become exhausted with her?<\/a><\/p>\n

My friend keeps blaming herself for everything going wrong in her family, and she won\u2019t listen to her friends when we try to console her and let her know her family drama isn\u2019t her fault.<\/p>\n

Recently, she\u2019s begun to feel physically sick due to everything going on in her life and is sharing with us that she\u2019s been struggling with getting up, eating and other simple, everyday things.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m starting to get concerned for her and her well-being. Do you have any advice for me on how to let her know that I am here for her if she needs anything?<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2014 Friend in Need<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR FRIEND IN NEED:<\/strong> It probably seems like the world is crashing all around your friend, and it\u2019s natural that it is difficult for her to manage. You can be a good friend to her in two ways: Make yourself as available as is comfortable for you by checking in on her regularly and spending time together when you can; and strongly encourage her to see a therapist.<\/p>\n

A mental health professional can help her navigate this challenging time and help her access the tools she needs to survive and perhaps even thrive.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: My neighbor says people are afraid of me because of how I dress<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

These conversations just don’t interest me anymore.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-942","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"These conversations just don't interest me anymore.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-01T10:40:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Harriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-01T10:40:37+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942\"},\"wordCount\":639,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942\",\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-01T10:40:37+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":614},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=942#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Harriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Harriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t - Next City Digest","og_description":"These conversations just don't interest me anymore.","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-06-01T10:40:37+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Harriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t","datePublished":"2026-06-01T10:40:37+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942"},"wordCount":639,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942","name":"Harriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","datePublished":"2026-06-01T10:40:37+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp","width":1024,"height":614},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=942#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Harriette Cole: I’ve grown up so much at college, and my friends at home haven’t"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/942","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=942"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/942\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/92"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=942"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=942"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=942"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}