{"id":938,"date":"2026-06-01T09:07:43","date_gmt":"2026-06-01T09:07:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=938"},"modified":"2026-06-01T09:07:43","modified_gmt":"2026-06-01T09:07:43","slug":"dear-abby-my-neighbor-says-people-are-afraid-of-me-because-of-how-i-dress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=938","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: My neighbor says people are afraid of me because of how I dress"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I don\u2019t like living where I am. I\u2019m in a 55-plus community. I am 59, which is younger than a lot of people who live here. The gossiping is awful and out of control.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: My family\u2019s employee gave my child too big of a gift<\/a><\/p>\n

I was just informed by a neighbor that people who live here are afraid of me because of the way that I dress. I usually wear a T-shirt tucked into knee-length jean shorts with a belt.<\/p>\n

I have reached the point that I am having my dinner delivered, and I no longer go to breakfast in the dining room. I\u2019m happier cooking my own food at home and keeping to myself.<\/p>\n

I am considering moving to a regular condo, not a 55-plus. At this point in my life, I need to be around younger people. Would you stay or would you move?<\/p>\n

\u2014 UNCOMFORTABLE IN GEORGIA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE:<\/strong> Could some of your neighbors be jealous because you look so appealing in your \u201cuniform\u201d? Are you sure the person who told you that your neighbors are afraid of you was telling the truth?<\/p>\n

If you have been living in that 55-plus community only a short while, perhaps you should give it a little more time. However, if you feel a younger community would be more welcoming and stimulating, start looking around at what your options may be.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> After four months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if we could move in together to save on rent. He was absolutely against the idea.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

We\u2019ve now been dating for 10 months, and he recently got a letter stating that he\u2019s about to be evicted because he hasn\u2019t paid rent for three months. Now that he is about to lose his place, he says that because it\u2019s been 10 months of us dating, he should move in.<\/p>\n

Read more Today in History: June 1, cruise ship capsizes in China\u2019s Yangtze River<\/a><\/p>\n

I have asked him for months to get a second job. He has a job that\u2019s based on commission only, so he doesn\u2019t get paid unless he sells something. I have the same job but also work another one. He only recently applied to get another job, but he hasn\u2019t completed the requirements to fulfill the opening.<\/p>\n

Do you think he is asking me to move in because he thinks I\u2019ll pay the bills? Also, his mom is living with him because she has memory problems.<\/p>\n

What should I do? This feels like a situation where I want to help but I don\u2019t want to be in a ruckus in the end.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2014 INDECISIVE IN CALIFORNIA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR INDECISIVE:<\/strong> You have known this man for only 10 months. That his moving in with you would also involve his mother who has memory problems creates an additional complication besides the fact that his income is so irregular he can\u2019t afford to pay his rent.<\/p>\n

What if his mother\u2019s problem worsens? Who will care for her while he\u2019s working? Will he be able to find a job for which he is qualified to supplement his income?<\/p>\n

You are generous and caring, but if you do what he is asking, your relationship will become increasingly complicated, and a \u201cruckus\u201d would be the least of your worries. He needs to solve his own problem without involving you.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Kebab Shop and its beef supplier targeted in E. coli lawsuit<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Abby: The gossip in this community is out of control. Should I move?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: My neighbor says people are afraid of me because of how I dress - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=938\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: My neighbor says people are afraid of me because of how I dress - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear Abby: The gossip in this community is out of control. 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