{"id":93,"date":"2026-05-21T09:06:52","date_gmt":"2026-05-21T09:06:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=93"},"modified":"2026-05-21T09:06:52","modified_gmt":"2026-05-21T09:06:52","slug":"harriette-cole-i-heard-something-odd-from-my-best-friends-roommate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=93","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: I heard something odd from my best friend’s roommate"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> My best friend has a roommate. We\u2019ve all hung out a number of times and had a blast together.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: They were making out in the restaurant, and we couldn\u2019t look away<\/a><\/p>\n

Recently, I asked the roommate if she\u2019d want to do a yoga class together \u2014 I\u2019ve seen her post on social media about her interest, and I practice yoga regularly. She looked awkward for a moment, before she answered that she and my best friend have agreed not to share friends.<\/p>\n

I was taken aback. Not only do I often see their friend groups overlap, but the three of us have hung out together often over the past couple of years.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t inquire further then, but I wonder if I should ask my best friend why she feels the need to control relationships that way. Maybe I should leave this one alone? What would you do?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Same Friends<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR SAME FRIENDS<\/strong>: You call her your best friend. Talk to her. Don\u2019t take the roommate\u2019s comments as authority here.<\/p>\n

Tell your friend that you had invited her roommate to go to a yoga class and how she responded. Ask her if she has actually made this rule \u2014 and why. Tell her that you find it odd since the three of you have hung out numerous times, and you know they have hung out with other friends together.<\/p>\n

Ask her to tell you what\u2019s up. Make it clear to her that you would appreciate her coming to you directly if she has issues with you.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: One of my friends and I grew up in similar situations, with one of our parents an alcoholic.<\/p>\n

We shared our experiences with each other, and we each expressed that our biggest fear is to turn into our parents.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: I wish my boss had let me know he wasn\u2019t dead<\/a><\/p>\n

Recently, my friend has been going through some familial issues and has been drinking. Every time I\u2019m at her house, she has open alcohol containers and smells like alcohol. I am extremely concerned for her, especially with everything that she has shared with me.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how to bring this up with her. I want to make sure she\u2019s safe, but I don\u2019t want to label her and potentially jeopardize our friendship.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Do you have any advice for me on how to navigate this tricky situation?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Turning Into Our Parents<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR TURNING INTO OUR PARENTS:<\/strong> This is a tender topic, but it is also one that she pointed out to you and gave you permission to address.<\/p>\n

To the best of your ability, pick a moment when your friend is sober to talk to her. Check in with her to find out how she\u2019s doing. Listen to whatever she chooses to tell you.<\/p>\n

When there\u2019s a moment for you to talk, express your concern for her sobriety. Tell her that you have noticed that she is drinking more during this stressful time, and it concerns you based upon her own worries about her family history and how it might affect her. See if you can get her to talk about it.<\/p>\n

Let her know you will always be there for her, and you don\u2019t mean to get in her business, but you felt the need to point out what might be a red flag.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Driver dead after truck ends up underwater in Richmond<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Harriette Cole: This “rule” is news to me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-93","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: I heard something odd from my best friend’s roommate - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=93\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: I heard something odd from my best friend’s roommate - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Harriette Cole: This "rule" is news to me.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=93\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-05-21T09:06:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"614\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/webp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=93#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=93\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Harriette Cole: I heard something odd from my best friend’s roommate\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-21T09:06:52+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=93\"},\"wordCount\":638,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=93#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=93#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=93\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=93\",\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: I heard something odd from my best friend’s roommate - 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