{"id":89,"date":"2026-05-21T08:07:50","date_gmt":"2026-05-21T08:07:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=89"},"modified":"2026-05-21T08:07:50","modified_gmt":"2026-05-21T08:07:50","slug":"dear-abby-i-wish-my-boss-had-let-me-know-he-wasnt-dead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=89","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: I wish my boss had let me know he wasn&#8217;t dead"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I am very fond of my boss and have worked for him for over four years. He has been on a medical leave of absence for several months. No one knows the reason.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=87\">Driver dead after truck ends up underwater in Richmond<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not nosy; I just want to know if he is all right. It crossed my mind that he might have passed away. I was told he is due back in several weeks, maybe.<\/p>\n<p>I have told him how much he has meant to me, so he had to know I would be concerned about him. My question is, shouldn\u2019t he have tried to find a way to contact me to let me know he is all right? Just a little note or email would have been fine.<\/p>\n<p>There have been many nights when I have cried due to worrying about him. If and when he returns, should I let him know how concerned I have been?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 WORRIED IN THE WEST<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR WORRIED:<\/strong> When your boss returns, do not quiz him about his absence. Simply say, \u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re back. I was concerned about you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If he chooses to share with you why he was absent, listen with a sympathetic ear. Then turn your attention to the tasks at hand.<\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: Our dear mother passed away 2\u00bd years ago, which was very sad for me and my three siblings. Her passing happened on my adult son\u2019s birthday.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>I try hard to focus only on the happy occasion of celebrating my wonderful son on his day, but my older sister sends me sad messages, stories, pictures, etc., usually starting a few days before.<\/p>\n<p>How do I tell her I prefer she not remember this day as the day our mother died, but rather the day my son, who is her godson, was born? It doesn\u2019t mean I didn\u2019t love our mother, or that I don\u2019t think about her all the time, but I need this date back.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=85\">Shai Gilgeous-Alexander scores 30, Thunder top Spurs 122-113 in Game 2 of West finals<\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 SAD BUT HAPPY SISTER<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR SAD:<\/strong> You cannot prevent your sister from remembering the date of your mother\u2019s death. It\u2019s something she can\u2019t forget. You can, however, tell her how her messages make you feel on the happy occasion of your son\u2019s birthday and gently ask her to stop.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: Some people love to shop and love to give gifts. There are also people who don\u2019t enjoy shopping and would prefer not to receive random gifts.<\/p>\n<p>Those who don\u2019t enjoy shopping have a difficult time coming up with gift ideas. When they do, it is often regarded as unwanted or not to the recipient\u2019s liking.<\/p>\n<p>Why should the ones who don\u2019t enjoy shopping feel forced to shop for the ones who do love it? Is there a polite way to stop random gift-giving?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 NO MORE GIFTS<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR NO MORE GIFTS<\/strong>: You can\u2019t stop random gift-giving, but you can stop feeling guilty about gift-receiving.<\/p>\n<p>The idea behind a gift is that it is given freely, with no expectations attached. If you have been giving return gifts to your shopper friends, they probably think you enjoy the back-and-forth. To break the cycle, stop reciprocating.<\/p>\n<p>If that doesn\u2019t curb the random gifts, please bear in mind that most people don\u2019t regard generosity as a character flaw.<\/p>\n<p><em>Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=83\">Alanys Robertson powers Castro Valley to first-round NCS win over San Marin<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Abby: His absence worried me so much that I cried many nights<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-89","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Dear Abby: I wish my boss had let me know he wasn&#8217;t dead - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=89\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: I wish my boss had let me know he wasn&#8217;t dead - 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