{"id":8832,"date":"2026-09-10T09:09:03","date_gmt":"2026-09-10T09:09:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8832"},"modified":"2026-09-10T09:09:03","modified_gmt":"2026-09-10T09:09:03","slug":"harriette-cole-our-date-went-great-then-i-found-out-where-he-lives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/harriette-cole-our-date-went-great-then-i-found-out-where-he-lives\/","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: Our date went great. Then I found out where he lives."},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: I had an amazing date with someone who\u2019s been interested in me for some time now. I was too scared to agree to a date before as I am only about one year out from getting divorced.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: The hosts\u2019 antagonism made for an uncomfortable party<\/a><\/p>\n

My date picked me up for dinner and a movie, and it went so well we ended up getting drinks after and shutting down the bar! When he picked me up, he showed up with a gift for me \u2014 perfume \u2014 which I thought was so sweet and thoughtful.<\/p>\n

My date and I are both divorced and have teenage children, so it seems like we could be a good fit, but I\u2019d be lying if I said I wasn\u2019t surprised and a bit disappointed when he told me that he rents a room in a basement apartment.<\/p>\n

At my age, that does not sound ideal for me or for the kind of partner I am seeking. While I would like someone who\u2019s a bit more established like myself, he did also share that he only moved to the United States three years ago.<\/p>\n

Should I continue seeing this man despite the different places we\u2019re at in life?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Pros and Cons<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR PROS AND CONS<\/strong>: What did you like about this man? Clearly, his attentiveness counts for a lot. That he is starting over, seemingly from scratch, is concerning.<\/p>\n

Before you write him off, talk to him some more. Ask about his marriage \u2014 find out what worked and ultimately what went wrong. Be direct and inquire about his finances. What landed him in the basement of some house? What are his plans for the future? How realistic are they?<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Think about your own marriage: What lessons did you learn that can guide your steps today? Sort through it all to assess whether getting to know this man better is worth the effort.<\/p>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> My sister \u2014 who lives a couple states away \u2014 asked me and our other siblings whether we\u2019d be able to spend the weekend at her house after she had a procedure that called for her to stay in bed for a few days.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: The problem child has come home and is stirring up trouble<\/a><\/p>\n

She warned us that she would be needing help tidying up and handling errands. I asked if her husband would be able to help, too. My sister claimed that he wasn\u2019t feeling his best, either, which is why she asked us.<\/p>\n

When we arrived for the weekend to support my sister, we found her husband parked on the couch, beer in hand and all smiles \u2014 per usual. There were no signs of him being sick. I did as many chores as I could in a full day and left the home that evening. I was not in the mood to stick around. Now my sister is upset with me.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Her husband is lazy, and it\u2019s unfair that she expects her siblings to show up for her and clean her home but not her own husband. Should I be honest with my sister about this?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Brother-in-Law<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR BROTHER-IN-LAW:<\/strong> Your sister asked you to help her. That\u2019s what you did. Neither you nor she can control her husband. Clearly, he is not helping.<\/p>\n

When your sister is feeling better, you can tell her how surprised and disappointed you were that her husband was so unhelpful. But be wary of passing judgment: She called you for help. Don\u2019t make her feel guilty because she needed you.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more New app to provide California wildfire updates to the public directly from fire agencies<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: Why was I doing chores while my brother-in-law lay on the couch with a beer?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5384,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: Our date went great. Then I found out where he lives. - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/harriette-cole-our-date-went-great-then-i-found-out-where-he-lives\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: Our date went great. 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