{"id":8830,"date":"2026-09-10T08:07:17","date_gmt":"2026-09-10T08:07:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8830"},"modified":"2026-09-10T08:07:17","modified_gmt":"2026-09-10T08:07:17","slug":"dear-abby-the-problem-child-has-come-home-and-is-stirring-up-trouble","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8830","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: The problem child has come home and is stirring up trouble"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I have a younger brother who has moved back to the area where the rest of our siblings live. He went for 30 years without keeping in close contact with anyone during that time.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8829\">New app to provide California wildfire updates to the public directly from fire agencies<\/a><\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s the youngest of 10 children, and our mother spoiled him rotten. He\u2019s in his 60s now and still acts like an immature spoiled child. Our father had to bail him out of financial situations more times than I can count. Despite that, he hated our father and announced it when he came home for Dad\u2019s funeral.<\/p>\n<p>The problem we\u2019re having now is that he constantly tries to stir up problems between the rest of us. Until he returned, we were a close-knit family. None of my other family members want anything to do with him, and they refuse invitations to get together if he will be there.<\/p>\n<p>Abby, I love my brother, but I\u2019m tired of his behavior. He had a drug problem when he lived out of state. He claims he\u2019s clean now, but he has now replaced the drugs with alcohol.<\/p>\n<p>How can I get my family back without him if he isn\u2019t willing to admit he is the problem?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 SIBLING SITUATION IN WISCONSIN<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR SIBLING<\/strong>: Stop inviting your brother to these gatherings. The sooner you do, the sooner he will learn the consequences of trying to stir up trouble among the siblings. Unless there are consequences for his behavior, it won\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n<p>His behavior isn\u2019t unusual for an addict. By that, I mean it is common for an addict to replace his drug addiction with another one and even more common to deny having a problem.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8827\">San Jose Earthquakes snap long winless streak with 3-2 road victory over San Diego FC<\/a><\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Al-Anon (al-anon.org) is an offshoot of Alcoholics Anonymous created for anyone who is affected by a loved one\u2019s drinking. It holds meetings everywhere, and you should have no trouble locating one near you. Attend some of those meetings, which are free of charge. When you do, you will meet others with problems similar to the one you are having.<\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I have been planning a dream trip to Europe with some family members. The people I\u2019m traveling with are young and like to take selfies everywhere, which takes a lot of time. I don\u2019t care about doing that type of thing.<\/p>\n<p>They are \u201cgirly girls,\u201d and I am plain. They love hair and makeup and take up valuable time with these activities. I never know what to do while they are doing these things. I don\u2019t begrudge them this, but do you have any advice on what to say or do while I wait around?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 FRETTING THIS TRIP<\/em><\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>DEAR FRETTING:<\/strong> When people take selfies as they travel, part of the fun is capturing themselves against picturesque landscapes, famous landmarks or works of art. If you don\u2019t want to be in the photos, keeping a visual record of your journey can still be fulfilling.<\/p>\n<p>Develop your photo or video skills by focusing on the scenery the girls are using as backdrops. If you are artistically inclined, a sketchbook may be more your speed. If images aren\u2019t your thing, bring a travel journal in which you can jot down your impressions and favorite aspects of the places you visit.<\/p>\n<p><em>Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips wrote this column, which was started in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8825\">After a year of turmoil, Valley Water turns to 25-year veteran as its next CEO<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Plus: What do I do when the girly girls are taking selfies?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7028,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Dear Abby: The problem child has come home and is stirring up trouble - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8830\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: The problem child has come home and is stirring up trouble - 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