{"id":8675,"date":"2026-09-08T08:06:07","date_gmt":"2026-09-08T08:06:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8675"},"modified":"2026-09-08T08:06:07","modified_gmt":"2026-09-08T08:06:07","slug":"dear-abby-im-trying-to-ghost-her-but-she-wont-accept-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8675","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: I’m trying to ghost her but she won’t accept it"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> Two years ago, I ran into an old friend I hadn\u2019t seen in more than 25 years. We went to dinner the following week. The dinner lasted three hours. Abby, she talked the entire time!<\/p>\n

Read more How hot is SF Giants\u2019 Devers? How he\u2019s sharing company with Bonds, Mays<\/a><\/p>\n

It was a mix of grandiose stories, complaints about her health, complaints about her relationships and an attempt to make me feel guilty for not contacting her sooner. I tried to excuse it, telling myself, \u201cIt\u2019s been decades; of course she has a lot to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

Every subsequent interaction followed the same pattern, with an expectation of far more of my time and energy than I was comfortable giving. At one point, she even sprinkled in a little condescension about my political leaning. I started feeling anxious before seeing her and drained afterward.<\/p>\n

Over a year ago, I decided to take a step back. I told her I\u2019d reach out when I felt up to socializing again, and I haven\u2019t contacted her since. Despite that, she\u2019s continued to call and text.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to hurt her feelings, but I have no interest in the friendship. At the same time, continuing to ignore her feels unkind. I know this will hurt her, but what\u2019s the most honest (and least painful) way to tell her I don\u2019t want further contact?<\/p>\n

\u2014 GHOSTING HER ISN\u2019T WORKING<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR GHOSTING:<\/strong> Unless you want to fully commit to the ghosting strategy by blocking this woman\u2019s number, stop avoiding her calls and texts. Decline her next invitation by telling her you are trying to focus on other parts of your life right now. That\u2019s the truth.<\/p>\n

If she persists, tell her getting together isn\u2019t feasible right now and you prefer that she let you initiate contact in the future. If she still doesn\u2019t get the message, blocking her is your only option.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I have a young neighbor who is interested in social causes. She advocates stopping animal abuse, has run the race against breast cancer and volunteers to feed the homeless. I enjoy talking to her because she\u2019s so passionate about these causes.<\/p>\n

Read more Once a skeptic, 49ers\u2019 McCaffrey now embraces \u2018cool experience\u2019 of Melbourne game<\/a><\/p>\n

She has told me she feels alienated from her schoolmates, who don\u2019t like her \u201cconstant preaching.\u201d Even her mother has told her she should \u201cslow down and enjoy being a teenager.\u201d The girl has told me I\u2019m the only one who understands her.<\/p>\n

This is uncomfortable because she should be able to confide in her mother. Her mom should be proud of her for not engaging in the harmful behavior some teens do. The girl is lonely at school, and I don\u2019t know what to tell her. Have you any ideas?<\/p>\n

\u2014 SUPPORTIVE NEIGHBOR IN OHIO<\/em><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR SUPPORTIVE NEIGHBOR:<\/strong> Feeling some sense of alienation is part of being a teenager. I don\u2019t think the girl\u2019s mother suggesting she slow down and enjoy being a teen is a criticism, and you shouldn\u2019t assume that the woman isn\u2019t proud of her daughter.<\/p>\n

Sometimes people \u2014 not just teenagers \u2014 need someone in their lives who is willing to listen and offer praise. Because the girl relates well to you, continue to fill that role.<\/p>\n

However, if her \u201cconstant preaching\u201d is alienating her schoolmates, it couldn\u2019t hurt to suggest that no one ever learned anything by talking \u2014 she should also do some listening. It\u2019s good advice, and it applies to situations other than high school.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips wrote this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more SF Giants\u2019 Whitcomb delivers 11th-inning walk-off single to defeat Cardinals<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What’s the least painful way to tell her I don’t want to be her friend?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7028,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: I’m trying to ghost her but she won’t accept it - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8675\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: I’m trying to ghost her but she won’t accept it - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What's the least painful way to tell her I don't want to be her friend?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8675\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-09-08T08:06:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8675#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8675\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: I’m trying to ghost her but she won’t accept it\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-09-08T08:06:07+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8675\"},\"wordCount\":672,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8675#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/e0a61fb13ad8c491b1d1a120a9ed0d48.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8675#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8675\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8675\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: I’m trying to ghost her but she won’t accept it - 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