{"id":8616,"date":"2026-09-07T08:07:05","date_gmt":"2026-09-07T08:07:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8616"},"modified":"2026-09-07T08:07:05","modified_gmt":"2026-09-07T08:07:05","slug":"dear-abby-my-wife-died-on-vacation-and-this-man-posted-it-on-facebook-within-hours","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8616","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: My wife died on vacation, and this man posted it on Facebook within hours"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My wife passed away unexpectedly while we were in Europe. I phoned several people in the U.S. to let them know and asked that they let others know.<\/p>\n

Read more Campbell Mayor Dan Furtado to give State of the City address on Sept. 16<\/a><\/p>\n

Someone in my wife\u2019s hometown posted the news to Facebook barely six hours after I had found her. My grief at the time was so great that I could not respond, as I was dealing with getting her remains back home. This has bothered me ever since that horrible day.<\/p>\n

I sent the person a message, telling him I felt he had been disrespectful to me and my children. He replied that he had been so sad to learn that my wife had died that he felt compelled to post it to Facebook. (He did admit that his timing was bad.)<\/p>\n

I know I need to move on, and this person will definitely be left behind.<\/p>\n

Is posting to social media acceptable before the family has had a chance to write an obituary and publish it? These platforms are public forums and should follow the normal rules of etiquette regarding respecting the family\u2019s privacy.<\/p>\n

\u2014 MOURNING WIDOWER<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR MOURNING WIDOWER<\/strong>: Please accept my sincere condolences on your wife\u2019s passing. The acquaintance who posted to Facebook committed a serious social media faux pas. It is never acceptable to make any public announcement of a person\u2019s death before the immediate family has done so. Still worse is the fact that he didn\u2019t wait for 24 hours before rushing to his keyboard.<\/p>\n

It appears you were never close with this self-appointed town crier, and I don\u2019t blame you for deciding you never will be.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I\u2019m a single mother of an 18-year-old son with autism.<\/p>\n

I have known \u201cCliff\u201d for more than 20 years. We live on opposite coasts. I want to be with him and he with me, though he doesn\u2019t want my son to live with us at this time. He wants it to be just the two of us for a while.<\/p>\n

Read more Flock surveillance cameras become midterm campaign target as voters balk at tech companies\u2019 power<\/a><\/p>\n

Abby, my son is not able to live on his own. Do you have any advice as to what to do?<\/p>\n

\u2014 CLUELESS IN THE WEST<\/em><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR CLUELESS:<\/strong> It troubles me that Cliff is already trying to exclude your son from the equation. What exactly does he expect you to do with your son during this \u201choneymoon\u201d period, and how long does he think it should last?<\/p>\n

It is important that you find out before this romance goes any further. What alternative living arrangements does Cliff have in mind for your son, what will they cost and who will be expected to pay for them?<\/p>\n

You didn\u2019t mention how functional your son is, or how he interacts with others. Because he is 18, it\u2019s time to start thinking ahead regardless of Cliff. What will become of your son if something should happen to you? Would he be cared for by other relatives? Would a group living arrangement work for him?<\/p>\n

Some developmentally disabled individuals thrive when they have social interaction and some kind of work to do. Before you start planning your love life, you need to address these issues. The Autism Society of America (autismsociety.org) may be able to help you navigate them.<\/p>\n

DEAR READERS:<\/strong> Have a safe and happy Labor Day! \u2014 LOVE, ABBY<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips wrote this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Letters: Aisha Wahab\u2019s swearing-in is a reason to celebrate<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I told him it was disrespectful; he said he felt compelled to spread the news.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7028,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8616","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: My wife died on vacation, and this man posted it on Facebook within hours - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8616\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: My wife died on vacation, and this man posted it on Facebook within hours - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I told him it was disrespectful; he said he felt compelled to spread the news.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8616\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-09-07T08:07:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8616#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8616\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: My wife died on vacation, and this man posted it on Facebook within hours\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-09-07T08:07:05+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8616\"},\"wordCount\":654,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8616#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/e0a61fb13ad8c491b1d1a120a9ed0d48.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8616#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8616\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8616\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: My wife died on vacation, and this man posted it on Facebook within hours - 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