{"id":8543,"date":"2026-09-06T08:06:08","date_gmt":"2026-09-06T08:06:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8543"},"modified":"2026-09-06T08:06:08","modified_gmt":"2026-09-06T08:06:08","slug":"dear-abby-the-brides-request-put-me-in-an-uncomfortable-position","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8543","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: The bride’s request put me in an uncomfortable position"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> My granddaughter \u201cCarrie\u201d is getting married this fall. She has asked me to escort her down the aisle. She is in her mid-30s, and this is her second marriage.<\/p>\n

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I am honored but also uncomfortable. Her father and mother (my daughter, \u201cLori\u201d) were never married; they have three children together. The father was emotionally and physically abusive to the children and my daughter.<\/p>\n

Carrie is estranged from her father and has had nothing to do with him for several years. She is also estranged from her mother. She feels that Lori has never been a mother to her, didn\u2019t protect her or her siblings from their father and has recently made little effort to show an interest in her life.<\/p>\n

I have not yet told Lori that Carrie asked me to escort her down the aisle. I know Lori will be heartbroken. I am afraid that when I do tell her, our relationship will suffer.<\/p>\n

It is a long time between now and the wedding. Any suggestions?<\/p>\n

\u2014 CONFLICTED GRANDMOTHER<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR GRANDMOTHER:<\/strong> Lori must already know that she won\u2019t be invited to the ceremony, much less be a member of the wedding party.<\/p>\n

She can\u2019t expect Carrie to walk down the aisle alone, so I hope she will be grateful that Carrie has a proud grandmother to fill the role. If not, that\u2019s her problem; do not make it yours.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Help give Carrie a loving, happy wedding day, and don\u2019t allow the conflict between them to drag you down.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> My husband and I have been married for eight years. For the most part, we are happy, but there is one thing that upsets me. He doesn\u2019t like to have people over for social events.<\/p>\n

In fact, I can\u2019t get him to participate in any social outing without him moaning and complaining the entire time.<\/p>\n

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I enjoy getting together with friends and having people over, and so do our children. I love hosting birthday parties, barbecues and such, and I would love to have couples over for drinks or even a game night.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

It\u2019s a constant struggle because my husband won\u2019t meet me halfway. I feel like I\u2019m trapped in my own home and can\u2019t go anywhere. If I do go, he rarely accompanies me and our kids to social gatherings, and I am left to explain why he isn\u2019t with us.<\/p>\n

I hate being put in this position. How can I make him meet me halfway?<\/p>\n

\u2014 HELD BACK<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR HELD BACK<\/strong>: Short of ordering your husband to socialize at gunpoint, there\u2019s nothing you can do. (Please do not point a gun at your husband.)<\/p>\n

By now, you should have realized that you can\u2019t change him. You can, however, change how you react to his behavior.<\/p>\n

Unless he had a complete personality change after the wedding, this is the person you married. Because this is who he is, it\u2019s up to you to be less embarrassed and more upfront about explaining his absence when you and your children socialize without him. (\u201cYou know, Harry just isn\u2019t comfortable socializing. It\u2019s not in his nature.\u201d)<\/p>\n

Unless he forbids you to host a game night once in a while, go ahead and plan one. If he\u2019s as antisocial as you say he is, he won\u2019t be missed.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.<\/em><\/p>\n

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My granddaughter wants me (not her mother) to walk her down the aisle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7028,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8543","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: The bride’s request put me in an uncomfortable position - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8543\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: The bride’s request put me in an uncomfortable position - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My granddaughter wants me (not her mother) to walk her down the aisle.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8543\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-09-06T08:06:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8543#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8543\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: The bride’s request put me in an uncomfortable position\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-09-06T08:06:08+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8543\"},\"wordCount\":671,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8543#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/e0a61fb13ad8c491b1d1a120a9ed0d48.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8543#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8543\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8543\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: The bride’s request put me in an uncomfortable position - 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