{"id":8374,"date":"2026-09-04T08:36:52","date_gmt":"2026-09-04T08:36:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8374"},"modified":"2026-09-04T08:36:52","modified_gmt":"2026-09-04T08:36:52","slug":"miss-manners-im-28-and-my-mother-is-adamant-i-should-be-married-and-pregnant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8374","title":{"rendered":"Miss Manners: I’m 28, and my mother is adamant I should be married and pregnant"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We have agreed that when he graduates from college, we will get engaged, and then marry about a year later (or whenever it feels right).<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: My boyfriend and his mother tell people they\u2019re siblings<\/a><\/p>\n

He has also been taking care of me while I have been unemployed for the past year. We\u2019re both 28.<\/p>\n

All through our relationship, my mother has said very hurtful things to me about our timeline, and also about my career. She can\u2019t seem to get it out of her head that my life should go at the same pace hers did. She was married at 24 and right away bought a house and cars, and worked at the same company for 30 years.<\/p>\n

She keeps insisting that my time to have children is almost over, and that he should have proposed to me a year ago. She says that he doesn\u2019t really love me if he doesn\u2019t want to get married, and that she is embarrassed of me because I don\u2019t have a job.<\/p>\n

My usual reply is that God will give me children at any age if I am supposed to have them, and that if my boyfriend didn\u2019t love me, he wouldn\u2019t have been taking care of me for so long and planning his life with me.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how else to respond to get her to stop saying these hurtful things to me. \u201cI\u2019m happy\u201d and \u201cit\u2019s out of my control\u201d aren\u2019t working.<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: We need a new tactic. Your being happy is subjective, and it being out of your control is not entirely true \u2014 in your mother\u2019s mind, at least.<\/p>\n

To be clear, Miss Manners does not defend your mother berating you and your boyfriend. It is unkind and unfair. But pleading with her for a different response is proving ineffective.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Perhaps you can take a stronger approach: \u201cI\u2019m sorry you don\u2019t like it, but this is what works for us.\u201d And then change the subject.<\/p>\n

Read more Bay Area high school football 2026: Week 2 preview, schedule<\/a><\/p>\n

DEAR MISS MANNERS:<\/strong> New partners should not be in the family pictures. If the relationships don\u2019t last, it ruins the pictures. Believe me, I learned this the hard way.<\/p>\n

I know, others may get divorced, etc. but I think the one-year rule is a good one.<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: Sure. But Miss Manners thought the point of taking pictures was to get a time capsule from the moment.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

What better way to do so than to remember Samson\u2019s kooky girlfriend from college who was into competitive duck herding? What ever happened to her?<\/p>\n

DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: What do I say to a neighbor who brought us a carrot souffle to try? We did not care for it. She\u2019s having the car club over and is making four dishes of it!<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: \u201cThank you.\u201d And then hope \u2014 as Miss Manners does \u2014 that if the souffle is really that bad, the car club has the means to make a quick getaway.<\/p>\n

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Musician Jonathan Mel\u00e9ndez killed with pregnant wife, 3-year-old daughter and nanny<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: I learned the hard way that new partners shouldn’t be in family photos.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5289,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8374","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nMiss Manners: I’m 28, and my mother is adamant I should be married and pregnant - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8374\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Miss Manners: I’m 28, and my mother is adamant I should be married and pregnant - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: I learned the hard way that new partners shouldn't be in family photos.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8374\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-09-04T08:36:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8374#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8374\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Miss Manners: I’m 28, and my mother is adamant I should be married and pregnant\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-09-04T08:36:52+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8374\"},\"wordCount\":590,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8374#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8374#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8374\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8374\",\"name\":\"Miss Manners: I’m 28, and my mother is adamant I should be married and pregnant - 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