{"id":8300,"date":"2026-09-03T09:07:29","date_gmt":"2026-09-03T09:07:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300"},"modified":"2026-09-03T09:07:29","modified_gmt":"2026-09-03T09:07:29","slug":"harriette-cole-i-dont-think-its-bad-to-feel-youre-under-surveillance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I read with some amusement the solemn concern of \u201cDon\u2019t Monitor Me,\u201d who wrote in about boundaries in tracking people on phone apps.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: I have a brain disorder, and sudoku is not going to fix it<\/a><\/p>\n

You may be interested in knowing that my adult daughters, college-aged granddaughter, husband and I share our locations via apps. We don\u2019t hover and rarely comment on each other\u2019s activities. It often saves a phone call to see whether someone is at home for visits.<\/p>\n

When I was a young woman, before apps and cellphones, my mother would occasionally ask me what I was doing at a particular location where so-and-so had seen me. Those were the human tracking app days. It reminded me to behave myself and added more accountability. Not a bad thing, I\u2019d say.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Baton Rouge<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR BATON ROUGE:<\/strong> My mother used to call the way she kept aware of me and my sisters as \u201chaving eyes in the back of my head.\u201d<\/p>\n

I totally agree that having someone aware of where you are is healthy. Naturally, you should be able to choose who that is.<\/p>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I had three children in 4\u00bd years, and I want to get my spark and confidence back.<\/p>\n

Throughout these back-to-back pregnancies, I gained about 30 pounds, and now I don\u2019t feel comfortable in my own body. I\u2019ve tried to start working out, but I never stay consistent because I\u2019m trying to manage a career while having young kids, which can be exhausting.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

I feel like so much of my time and energy goes toward taking care of everyone else that I rarely have a moment to focus on myself. Between getting the kids ready in the morning, keeping up with the house, working and making sure everyone has what they need, I often put my own needs at the bottom of the list. By the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is exercise or spend time getting ready when I could be resting.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: Is the wedding couple\u2019s gift guideline realistic?<\/a><\/p>\n

I know that my body has gone through a lot and I am grateful for my children, but I still want to feel like myself again. Sometimes I worry that I am making excuses, but I also know that my life is genuinely very busy right now.<\/p>\n

I miss feeling beautiful and confident in my own skin. How can I start to prioritize my body as a mom of three children?<\/p>\n

\u2014 No Time for Me<\/em><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR NO TIME FOR ME<\/strong>: Hopefully, there is another parent in the picture. Now is the time for you to implore that person to step up.<\/p>\n

No matter what that person\u2019s job and responsibilities may be, there are three children to care for, a household to maintain and only 24 hours in a day. You need help. Demand it so that you can carve out time for yourself. Look around to see if there are any family members who can pitch in. If you can afford to pay for help, do that.<\/p>\n

Next, as tough as it will seem, try to get up 30 minutes earlier each day to tend to yourself; try meditation, stretching and exercise. Carve out a bit of quiet time daily. It will help with your peace of mind.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Driver injured in shooting on East Bay freeway<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Knowing people were watching reminded me to behave myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5384,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Knowing people were watching reminded me to behave myself.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-09-03T09:07:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Harriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-09-03T09:07:29+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300\"},\"wordCount\":627,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/934295b22278f63640af5eb98e8b862d.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300\",\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/934295b22278f63640af5eb98e8b862d.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-09-03T09:07:29+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/934295b22278f63640af5eb98e8b862d.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/934295b22278f63640af5eb98e8b862d.webp\",\"width\":1500,\"height\":900},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8300#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Harriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Harriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance - Next City Digest","og_description":"Knowing people were watching reminded me to behave myself.","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-09-03T09:07:29+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Harriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance","datePublished":"2026-09-03T09:07:29+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300"},"wordCount":627,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/934295b22278f63640af5eb98e8b862d.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300","name":"Harriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/934295b22278f63640af5eb98e8b862d.webp","datePublished":"2026-09-03T09:07:29+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/934295b22278f63640af5eb98e8b862d.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/934295b22278f63640af5eb98e8b862d.webp","width":1500,"height":900},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8300#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Harriette Cole: I don’t think it’s bad to feel you’re under surveillance"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8300"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8300\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5384"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}