{"id":8299,"date":"2026-09-03T08:37:18","date_gmt":"2026-09-03T08:37:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8299"},"modified":"2026-09-03T08:37:18","modified_gmt":"2026-09-03T08:37:18","slug":"miss-manners-i-have-a-brain-disorder-and-sudoku-is-not-going-to-fix-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8299","title":{"rendered":"Miss Manners: I have a brain disorder, and sudoku is not going to fix it"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: According to my doctor and a genetic test, I have early-onset Parkinson\u2019s disease. I am 38.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: Is the wedding couple\u2019s gift guideline realistic?<\/a><\/p>\n

I am having a lot of the memory issues and brain fog that come with the disease, but not the noticeable tremors in these early stages.<\/p>\n

What do I say to people who don\u2019t understand why I forget words midsentence, or the correct names for things, or even, on the rare occasion, where I am and what I\u2019m doing?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve tried to explain it\u2019s the illness, but my age and lack of tremor have people doubting me. They say I just need to do more sudoku or crosswords to sharpen my mind. It\u2019s very frustrating!<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: Extremely, but this is a reason for the common advice against frankly discussing one\u2019s personal medical history. Besides being undignified, such honesty does not save one from the rude and insensitive.<\/p>\n

You do not owe these people an explanation. The world is full of absentminded and forgetful people, and Miss Manners advises letting them draw their own conclusions.<\/p>\n

Even more obvious symptoms would not require you to reveal your health problems to anyone who does not have a serious reason to be concerned about you. Idle curiosity should be discouraged with a curt \u201cIt\u2019s not something I want to discuss.\u201d<\/p>\n

DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: I have a tenuous relationship with my neighbors. How do I kindly tell them I cannot stand the smell of their used cat litter bags collecting in our hallway?<\/p>\n

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GENTLE READER<\/strong>: Leave an enclosed garbage can and\/or air freshener out there. Or ask, \u201cIf you need help taking the litter bags to the garbage, please let me know. Because sometimes it starts to smell out here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Since the relationship is already tenuous, Miss Manners thinks you do not have much to lose.<\/p>\n

Read more Driver injured in shooting on East Bay freeway<\/a><\/p>\n

DEAR MISS MANNERS:<\/strong> I once was invited to a meal a few months after a death in my family. It was a potluck\/buffet event.<\/p>\n

I was asked to bring small amounts of six or seven different items, including nuts, seeds, dried fruit, etc.<\/p>\n

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If I had purchased these items and brought the requested amounts, I would have had lots of those foods left over at home, and I personally don\u2019t eat any of it. I hate to waste food.<\/p>\n

I asked the hostess if I could just bring one item instead, and bring a whole bag of it. I also offered to convey my regrets if that was not acceptable to her. She said to just bring myself.<\/p>\n

I had never experienced a specific and complicated request like that. Did I do something wrong?<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER:<\/strong> You did not, as some amount of negotiation is often unavoidable in such events, which are, by their nature, informal. Your hostess was also gracious in offering to relieve you of the obligation when she realized you were finding it challenging to comply.<\/p>\n

Miss Manners finds herself curious whether you attended, what you did or did not bring, and how your family\u2019s loss relates to any of it. She hopes you did not fear that you needed to garner sympathy before asking a question of Miss Manners \u2014 lest you become the main course.<\/p>\n

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more East Bay artist says inspiring others through works her greatest reward<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: Did I do something wrong concerning the potluck request?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5289,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nMiss Manners: I have a brain disorder, and sudoku is not going to fix it - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8299\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Miss Manners: I have a brain disorder, and sudoku is not going to fix it - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: Did I do something wrong concerning the potluck request?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8299\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-09-03T08:37:18+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8299#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8299\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Miss Manners: I have a brain disorder, and sudoku is not going to fix it\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-09-03T08:37:18+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8299\"},\"wordCount\":625,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8299#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8299#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8299\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8299\",\"name\":\"Miss Manners: I have a brain disorder, and sudoku is not going to fix it - 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