{"id":8298,"date":"2026-09-03T08:07:03","date_gmt":"2026-09-03T08:07:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8298"},"modified":"2026-09-03T08:07:03","modified_gmt":"2026-09-03T08:07:03","slug":"dear-abby-is-the-wedding-couples-gift-guideline-realistic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8298","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: Is the wedding couple’s gift guideline realistic?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I will be attending my nephew\u2019s wedding in the northeast part of the country. I live in the mid-Atlantic.<\/p>\n

Read more Driver injured in shooting on East Bay freeway<\/a><\/p>\n

I have been told that at the reception each plate will cost $200, and they are expecting their wedding gifts to be worth at least the cost of the plate. Therefore, if a couple attends and both spouses dine at the reception, a $400 wedding gift is expected.<\/p>\n

Are these guidelines for real?<\/p>\n

\u2014 BAFFLED ABOUT ALL THIS<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR BAFFLED<\/strong>: These \u201cguidelines\u201d do not exist except in the minds of the presumptuous individuals who are throwing this shindig.<\/p>\n

A wedding reception is not a quid pro quo affair. The cost of the celebration is borne by the bride and groom and their parents, and no one else.<\/p>\n

If you plan to attend, your wedding gift should not cost more than you can comfortably afford.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My husband died six years ago. I met a widower three years ago. He was nice and attentive, but not anymore.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

We moved in together, and the last two years I have been miserable.<\/p>\n

I pay half the rent. I also pay for all the groceries and gas and pick up the check every time we go out to eat. He even takes my meds, so I have only half of what I need. The only time he is not moody is when I wait on him hand and foot.<\/p>\n

I have nothing. I live on Social Security, and so does he. He doesn\u2019t hit or abuse me, so I feel like I should stay, yet I\u2019m so unhappy. He doesn\u2019t talk to me or even give me a hug.<\/p>\n

I think I\u2019m stuck and don\u2019t know where to turn. My grown kids don\u2019t need to hear that I messed up, and I don\u2019t want to burden them. Can you please advise me?<\/p>\n

Read more East Bay artist says inspiring others through works her greatest reward<\/a><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2014 MISERABLE IN ARIZONA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR MISERABLE:<\/strong> Gladly. Your grown children need to know exactly what your situation is with this man.<\/p>\n

Whose name is on the lease of your dwelling? If it isn\u2019t you, there is no reason why you can\u2019t end this pain. Tell your kids what\u2019s going on and ask for their help in getting out of this soul-crushing mess. It may be embarrassing, but it may be the only way to escape.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I lost my wife in November to non-alcoholic fatty liver disease that had progressed to cirrhosis. She also had polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which was diagnosed in 1990.<\/p>\n

No doctor told my wife in the intervening years, \u201cYou have PCOS, so you need to get your liver checked.\u201d For some reason, most general practitioners and OB-GYNs do not tell their patients this.<\/p>\n

According to the World Health Organization, about 10% of women have PCOS. According to the National Institutes of Health, between 34% and 70% of PCOS patients develop fatty liver disease. Could you use your platform to tell PCOS patients to advocate for themselves to get liver scans done? I don\u2019t want any other family to experience the loss that my family has.<\/p>\n

\u2014 WARNING TO WOMEN<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR WARNING TO WOMEN:<\/strong> Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your wife to this terrible disease. Readers, I can\u2019t promise insurance will pay for the additional testing for all PCOS patients, but it can\u2019t hurt to raise the subject with your doctor.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips wrote this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Fire tears through building in downtown Oakland<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: The only time he isn’t moody is when I wait on him hand and foot.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7028,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: Is the wedding couple’s gift guideline realistic? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8298\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: Is the wedding couple’s gift guideline realistic? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: The only time he isn't moody is when I wait on him hand and foot.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8298\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-09-03T08:07:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8298#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8298\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: Is the wedding couple’s gift guideline realistic?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-09-03T08:07:03+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8298\"},\"wordCount\":646,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8298#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/e0a61fb13ad8c491b1d1a120a9ed0d48.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8298#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8298\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8298\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: Is the wedding couple’s gift guideline realistic? 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