{"id":8224,"date":"2026-09-02T08:06:53","date_gmt":"2026-09-02T08:06:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8224"},"modified":"2026-09-02T08:06:53","modified_gmt":"2026-09-02T08:06:53","slug":"dear-abby-i-thought-my-roommate-was-a-naive-bumpkin-until-she-pulled-this-worrisome-stunt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8224","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: I thought my roommate was a naive bumpkin until she pulled this worrisome stunt"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I\u2019m a college junior in need of advice.<\/p>\n

I share an apartment with two other female students, \u201cWendy\u201d and \u201cLauren,\u201d who roomed together before I met them.<\/p>\n

Read more Monday Morning Lights: Palo Alto ends skid, gets shoutout from Luck<\/a><\/p>\n

Wendy is sweet and easygoing, but she grew up in a rural area and seems very sheltered. For example, she can\u2019t swim and thinks that eating shrimp is exotic, but she likes to clog dance and play the mandolin. She has never mentioned having a boyfriend or even dating. We are completely different, but until recently we got along well.<\/p>\n

A few weeks ago, Wendy asked me to go with her to hear a bluegrass band at a club near campus. By 11 p.m., I was ready to leave, so she drove me to our apartment and said she was going back to keep listening to the band. I woke up around 4 a.m. (long after the club had closed) and realized that Wendy hadn\u2019t come home.<\/p>\n

I was freaked out and tried to call her but discovered that she had left her cellphone at the apartment. I went looking for her (in my car) all over campus and anywhere else I thought she might be. I seriously considered calling the police.<\/p>\n

When Lauren got home around 8 a.m., she said, \u201cOh, Wendy has done this before. She probably hooked up with some guy. I should have warned you.\u201d Then Wendy rolled in all starry-eyed about this \u201cgreat guy\u201d she had slept with, who was a stranger she knew only as \u201cJoe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wendy was unapologetic about the distress she had caused me by disappearing and staying out all night. I was exhausted and furious. When she wondered out loud whether Joe would be calling her, I snapped, \u201cWhy would he? He\u2019s probably sober by now.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m now wondering if I am the sheltered one. Am I being judgmental, and was my concern for Wendy\u2019s well-being an overreaction?<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2014 NERVOUS IN NORTH CAROLINA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR NERVOUS:<\/strong> You now know that Wendy is not as unworldly as you originally thought. It is regrettable that you weren\u2019t told how well she gets along with other fans of bluegrass, but now you know.<\/p>\n

Read more Man gets 13 years for Pittsburg crash that killed woman, injured Cal football player during police chase<\/a><\/p>\n

You and your roommates should consider making a pact that if you plan to stay out all night, you will inform the others, because your concern was not unfounded. She could have been in any kind of trouble. Luckily, this time she wasn\u2019t, and no, you did not overreact.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I\u2019ve been married for almost 40 years to a woman who is verbally abusive. When we went to counseling 30 years ago, she agreed to stop hitting me, which she has mostly adhered to.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

She still says hurtful things frequently and then laughs them off.<\/p>\n

What should a man do to leave an abusive wife? Why should I put up with abusive and demeaning behavior anymore?<\/p>\n

\u2014 ABUSED IN TEXAS<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR ABUSED:<\/strong> You should not put up with it. Inform your wife that the verbal jabs hurt you as much as the physical blows did.<\/p>\n

Offer to return to counseling with her so she can learn to treat you with more kindness and respect. In the meantime, consult a lawyer and be prepared to part ways if she continues to believe her abuse is funny.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips wrote this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more San Jose burglary suspect has long list of convictions for thefts, break-ins<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I freaked out when I realized she hadn’t come home from the club.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7028,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8224","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: I thought my roommate was a naive bumpkin until she pulled this worrisome stunt - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8224\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: I thought my roommate was a naive bumpkin until she pulled this worrisome stunt - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I freaked out when I realized she hadn't come home from the club.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8224\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-09-02T08:06:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8224#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8224\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: I thought my roommate was a naive bumpkin until she pulled this worrisome stunt\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-09-02T08:06:53+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8224\"},\"wordCount\":649,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8224#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/e0a61fb13ad8c491b1d1a120a9ed0d48.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8224#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8224\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=8224\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: I thought my roommate was a naive bumpkin until she pulled this worrisome stunt - 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