{"id":8150,"date":"2026-09-01T08:44:31","date_gmt":"2026-09-01T08:44:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8150"},"modified":"2026-09-01T08:44:31","modified_gmt":"2026-09-01T08:44:31","slug":"miss-manners-my-wife-crosses-the-line-in-taking-over-other-peoples-kitchens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=8150","title":{"rendered":"Miss Manners: My wife crosses the line in taking over other people’s kitchens"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: My wife and I occasionally get invited to friends\u2019 homes for dinner. After dinner, the guests usually sit and continue to visit and have conversations.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: My boyfriend\u2019s moochy mother lives next door<\/a><\/p>\n

Some clearing of the dinner dishes goes on, but cleaning up is not emphasized. The reason for clearing the plates is just to get them out of the way and off the table.<\/p>\n

My wife, however, takes clearing the plates too far. She goes beyond the call of duty, in my opinion, and starts loading the dishwasher, putting the food away and wiping off the counters in our hosts\u2019 house. The hosts are usually with their guests when my wife is doing this.<\/p>\n

If we are invited to someone\u2019s house for dinner, is it appropriate as a guest to start cleaning up the kitchen after the meal? It\u2019s a nice gesture, but I don\u2019t think it\u2019s necessary.<\/p>\n

When we host a dinner, I don\u2019t want my guests to clean up my kitchen. In fact, I don\u2019t even expect my wife to clean up after our guests have gone home. She\u2019s already spent plenty of time getting the place ready before they arrived.<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER:<\/strong> What your wife is doing is not a nice gesture. A nice gesture, and one that is only fair, is your insisting on doing the cleanup at home because your wife had done the preparation.<\/p>\n

But for a guest to take over the housekeeping without authorization from the host is intrusive \u2014 and almost insulting, as it implies that it was a necessary task that the host was neglecting. Plus, the guest is then neglecting their own duty of socializing.<\/p>\n

Miss Manners would appreciate your explaining to your wife the difference between offering to help \u2014 and then taking directions from the host, including desisting when the offer is declined \u2014 and attempting to run someone else\u2019s household.<\/p>\n

Read more More storms possible at Grand Canyon where a flash flood killed at least 2 people, others missing<\/a><\/p>\n

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DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: I know a few people who define everyone by their weight.<\/p>\n

Now, these people aren\u2019t perfect themselves, but their imperfections aren\u2019t as readily apparent as being fat. No imperfection is as apparent as that! It drives me nuts when they describe someone as \u201cchubby\u201d or \u201cfat\u201d when no physical description is even necessary.<\/p>\n

One of these people is my alcoholic sister, but I would never describe her that way to someone else! (Except you, apparently.) I need a comeback, because ignoring these comments just isn\u2019t working for me any longer.<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: Did you meet these people at an old country fair, where they offered prizes to those whose weight they could not guess accurately?<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Miss Manners suggests that you point out to them that you do not acquire friends, or even recognize people, by the pound.<\/p>\n

DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: When one person is already in a narrow hallway and another person comes down the stairs and tries to enter the hallway and pass by the person who was already there, what should happen?<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: Let\u2019s go with what shouldn\u2019t happen: a collision, because neither of them has the courtesy to step to one side.<\/p>\n

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Pedestrian dies following collision in San Jose<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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