{"id":809,"date":"2026-05-30T10:40:02","date_gmt":"2026-05-30T10:40:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=809"},"modified":"2026-05-30T10:40:02","modified_gmt":"2026-05-30T10:40:02","slug":"asking-eric-im-so-embarrassed-about-my-blunder-with-my-hairstylist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=809","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: I&#8217;m so embarrassed about my blunder with my hairstylist"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>Dear Eric:<\/strong> As I am getting older (mid-60s), appointments occasionally slip my mind and I am not very disciplined about writing them on my calendar.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=808\">Horoscopes May 30, 2026: Idina Menzel, observe and do what\u2019s best for you<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Luckily, medical appointments come with email or phone reminders. However, my hairstylist does not do reminder calls (and I don\u2019t expect her to).<\/p>\n<p>I have missed several appointments in the past year and just realized I missed another one recently. For the previous ones I tipped her double, offered to pay for the missed appointment or brought her coffee and a doughnut.<\/p>\n<p>But now I am so embarrassed that it happened again and I\u2019m not sure what to do. Should I call to make another appointment or just slink away to another salon? Should I pay for the missed appointment even if she says it\u2019s no big deal? Send her an email acknowledging my error and leave it up to her to call me and reschedule or \u201cfire\u201d me from her services?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2013 Foiled Again<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Foiled<\/strong>: Don\u2019t give up on this relationship just yet. Paying for the time you reserved is a good start. Even if she was able to slot another client in, it\u2019s still a good-faith gesture that acknowledges you understand the economics of her business model and don\u2019t take her for granted.<\/p>\n<p>When scheduling again, you can also be up front about the memory issues you\u2019re experiencing and propose a new way of working together that can help you keep track of the appointments. For instance, you could ask her, \u201cIf you remember, when I schedule, could you remind me to put it in my calendar?\u201d Or you could see about the possibility of booking a series of appointments and writing them all down at the same time.<\/p>\n<p>Though you feel embarrassed, try not to beat yourself up too much. Yes, it\u2019s inconvenient for her (and for you). But it\u2019s not completely within your control.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>On your own, consider making adjustments to your habits that will help you better keep track of important events. Talk to your doctor about the memory slips and ask for guidance on how to remedy or cope with them. It might also be helpful to write a note next to the hair appointment that reads, \u201cRemember to write down the next appointment before you leave.\u201d Little accommodations can go a long way.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Eric:<\/strong> I have four sons; all are married, some have children. The oldest son has two adult children, one of whom is engaged.<\/p>\n<p>When we have a family dinner or celebration and all are here, the oldest son\u2019s wife, her daughter and her daughter\u2019s fianc\u00e9 always sit at the end of the table together. They talk among themselves and rarely join in with the rest of the conversations with everyone else.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=806\">Dear Abby: Why do these brazen women keep showing up at funerals?<\/a><\/p>\n<p>After everyone has finished dinner and left the dining room, those three sometimes remain at the table talking and don\u2019t come and join the rest of us. When they do leave the table, they usually come into the family room but sit on the sofa together and continue their conversations there or look on their phones.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>I think this is very rude. The mother isn\u2019t setting a good example for her daughter, and I\u2019m concerned she\u2019s not teaching her how to be sociable.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not sure how to handle this. Is there something I could or should say or do or just leave it be?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2013 Family Dinner<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Family:<\/strong> If I\u2019m reading this correctly, we\u2019re talking about your daughter-in-law, granddaughter and the granddaughter\u2019s fianc\u00e9. Forgive me if the family uses other terminology or has other relationships that I\u2019m not seeing here.<\/p>\n<p>A generous interpretation suggests that maybe they really enjoy each other\u2019s company and see the family dinners as a time to catch up, or the fianc\u00e9 doesn\u2019t have as strong a connection to the rest of the family and your daughter-in-law and granddaughter are helping him acclimate. I have no way of knowing for sure.<\/p>\n<p>If you want them to be a part of the conversation, start with an invitation. You can say something like \u201cI\u2019ve noticed you don\u2019t talk very much to the whole group. I want to make sure you\u2019re comfortable joining in if you want. Is there something I can do to help?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The response might be, \u201cOh, I\u2019m more of a one-on-one conversation person.\u201d That\u2019s OK. Group conversation can be a lot for many people, and everyone\u2019s social batteries have different capacities.<\/p>\n<p>Gatherings work better when responsive to the needs and specifics of the people gathered. That doesn\u2019t mean that you can\u2019t ask them a direct question if you want to know about them or invite their opinion or participation. But try not to do this as a response to perceived rudeness. Instead, root it in a desire to know your family better.<\/p>\n<p><em>Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=805\">Harriette Cole: My friend\u2019s response to my good news was so hurtful<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Eric Thomas: Should I just slink away to another salon?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":94,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-809","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Asking Eric: I&#8217;m so embarrassed about my blunder with my hairstylist - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=809\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: I&#8217;m so embarrassed about my blunder with my hairstylist - 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