{"id":805,"date":"2026-05-30T09:11:14","date_gmt":"2026-05-30T09:11:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=805"},"modified":"2026-05-30T09:11:14","modified_gmt":"2026-05-30T09:11:14","slug":"harriette-cole-my-friends-response-to-my-good-news-was-so-hurtful","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=805","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: My friend’s response to my good news was so hurtful"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: I work in media and communications, and I was recently offered a role as a media and communications professor. Teaching has always been something I\u2019ve wanted to do, so I was excited.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: I blocked my neighbor\u2019s texts. Now she\u2019s leaving gifts on my porch.<\/a><\/p>\n

Just a week before I got the offer, I had a conversation with a friend of mine who has been teaching at the collegiate level for some time. I told her that I was interested in adjunct work, but I didn\u2019t know where to start. She said I can always come to her for advice. I said I didn\u2019t want to take advantage of her expertise, and she insisted that I lean on her.<\/p>\n

So when I got the offer, I called her right away to share the news and asked if she had any guidance. Instead of celebrating with me, she responded, \u201cI\u2019m glad to see you call me when you need something.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was so confused, so I reminded her of our recent conversation. She tried to explain what she meant, but she didn\u2019t apologize.<\/p>\n

I am very careful about using friends or always making requests, so I don\u2019t appreciate her insinuating otherwise. Now, I\u2019m left feeling offended. Should I address this again?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Mean What You Say<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR MEAN WHAT YOU SAY<\/strong>: For your peace of mind, tell her you are flabbergasted by her reaction to your call that she encouraged. Tell her you were offended by her doubling down, and ask her to tell you what was in her head as you don\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n

Listen and discover if there was something else going on that triggered her.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: My husband cheated on me two years ago and we stayed together, but I still can\u2019t get fully past it.<\/p>\n

Every time an argument happens between us, I am always bringing up his infidelity. I hurl insults at him about it, and I really don\u2019t like who I become when I bring up this difficult time in our marriage.<\/p>\n

Read more Today in History: May 30, 10 killed in clash between striking steelworkers and police<\/a><\/p>\n

The woman my husband cheated with admitted to me that she was in love with him and they had been seeing each other for a whole year.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how to fully forgive him. Sometimes I think that it might be necessary to end our 15-year marriage because I just can\u2019t forgive him. I feel like I have become a different person.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Even during moments when things between us seem good, there is always a part of me waiting for the other shoe to drop. I question things that I never used to question, and I hate living with this level of suspicion and insecurity.<\/p>\n

My husband has apologized many times and insists that he wants our marriage to work, but I still feel deeply hurt and humiliated by what happened. Do you think that I am forcing myself to make a marriage work that is way beyond repair?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Cheater<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR CHEATER<\/strong>: Can 15 years be stronger than one year of infidelity? Only you two can decide. Consider going to couples counseling to talk through what happened, what it meant and how to move forward.<\/p>\n

See if you can forgive him. If not, cut your ties. Sometimes this type of violation leaves an irreparable scar.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Time\u2019s up: NCS championship doubleheaders could be moved mid-game if not done in 2 \u00bd hours<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Harriette Cole: She insinuated that I was imposing on her. 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