{"id":7763,"date":"2026-08-26T09:37:10","date_gmt":"2026-08-26T09:37:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7763"},"modified":"2026-08-26T09:37:10","modified_gmt":"2026-08-26T09:37:10","slug":"asking-eric-i-have-glasses-for-reading-my-husband-wants-me-to-wear-them-all-the-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7763","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: I have glasses for reading. My husband wants me to wear them all the time."},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric:<\/strong> I\u2019m 40 years old; I have three teenage daughters and have been married to my new husband for almost a year.<\/p>\n

Read more Harriette Cole: I learned of my husband\u2019s workplace swindle, and I\u2019m appalled<\/a><\/p>\n

I was recently prescribed a pair of glasses just for reading. My husband thinks that I look fantastic in them and has asked a few times if I would consider wearing them all the time.<\/p>\n

I did order blended bifocals so I could keep them on at the office; I really could comfortably just leave them on. Personally, I feel I\u2019m more attractive without them and that they make me look older.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t decide what to do. Should I continue wearing them only when I really need to? Or should I give them a try for a couple of weeks as my husband has suggested?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Glasses Half Full<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Glasses:<\/strong> It\u2019s lovely that your husband is being supportive and is free with his compliments and requests, but what\u2019s most important with regard to your appearance is that you feel comfortable. So, if you only want to wear the glasses when you need them, don\u2019t give it a second thought. He can learn to see it as a special treat.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s great that he thinks you look fantastic \u2013 and I\u2019m sure you do \u2013 but if you start wearing them for him and you don\u2019t feel great about it, too, it might sour the experience. Better to let the glasses do what they\u2019re intended to do: help you read. Anything else is just an added benefit.<\/p>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> Our youngest child has worked only part time for the past two years, despite being a single mother to two children.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

At the same time her job situation deteriorated, my husband and I moved away from the city where we all had lived. Our daughter felt abandoned when we left, especially since my husband and I were babysitters, money givers, homework doers, food suppliers, etc.<\/p>\n

She was invited to move with us but could not because of the children\u2019s father. Courts would not allow it.<\/p>\n

We have been helping our daughter with many expenses: car insurance for two cars, cellphone for her and her kids, internet, Netflix, cable, laundry, incidentals and food. Plus, we have helped with the rent on and off and helped with summer classes for the kids, legal fees, special ed teachers, et cetera.<\/p>\n

Her ex contributes what the courts told him to and not a penny more.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

These expenses have been very hard on my husband and me financially. We dipped into our savings three times and once took money out of our house. Now, once again, we are in credit card debt up to our necks (more than $30,000), and none of the expenses are ours.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: We accidentally trespassed and didn\u2019t know what to say to the person on the porch<\/a><\/p>\n

When I tried to explain this problem to our daughter, she flipped out, as she occasionally does. Most of the time she is nice to us. Sometimes, she yells the house down at us and calls us names.<\/p>\n

I discussed this problem with my sister, and she said I was being manipulated, that our daughter needs therapy, and that we should cut her off and set boundaries. But how can we cut off our adored grandchildren from food and clean clothes and shoes and school supplies?<\/p>\n

We are drowning. She has two of my credit cards and all the charges are hers. The rest of her expenses come directly out of my checking account. Can you help?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Afraid of My Own Daughter\u2019s Temper<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Afraid:<\/strong> Listen to your sister. It won\u2019t serve you, your daughter or your grandchildren for you to sink into financial ruin.<\/p>\n

Write a budget for yourself and be very upfront with your daughter about what the limits of that budget are. Set up external boundaries \u2013 if you choose to keep paying her credit cards, lower the limits so that the credit card companies won\u2019t approve charges that exceed them, for instance.<\/p>\n

She may argue that you have the money and should give it but, without putting too fine a point on it, it seems clear that you don\u2019t have the money. You are borrowing against your house and in a lot of debt. This isn\u2019t simply a matter of you choosing to let your grandchildren go without; the money isn\u2019t there.<\/p>\n

Her anger is misdirected; indeed, it does seem manipulative. Regardless, it\u2019s not solving any problems. If she can\u2019t engage with you civilly, you have to set a boundary there, too.<\/p>\n

If reducing your support means that your grandchildren would go without clean clothes, there\u2019s a larger issue in the system here that you can\u2019t solve on your own. But there are many steps before that. Netflix is not a requirement, for instance. The second car may not be necessary. A financial adviser or a free budgeting program can help you identify some places to cut.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: I just found out my fiancee is seeing another man<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Personally, I don’t think I look “fantastic” in them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5293,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7763","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: I have glasses for reading. My husband wants me to wear them all the time. - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7763\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: I have glasses for reading. 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