{"id":7760,"date":"2026-08-26T08:06:27","date_gmt":"2026-08-26T08:06:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7760"},"modified":"2026-08-26T08:06:27","modified_gmt":"2026-08-26T08:06:27","slug":"dear-abby-i-just-found-out-my-fiancee-is-seeing-another-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7760","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: I just found out my fiancee is seeing another man"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I am a 63-year-old man. My fiancee (57) and I have been dating exclusively, or so I thought, for four years.<\/p>\n

Read more California man arrested after guillotine found near US Capitol<\/a><\/p>\n

I just found out she has a male friend she has been seeing without my knowledge. They go to lunch and dinner and other activities.<\/p>\n

She says they are just friends. He is her attorney, and he wants a romantic relationship.<\/p>\n

She lied by omission, and now my trust is damaged. I\u2019m worried about her dishonesty and the viability of our relationship. She thinks it\u2019s not a big deal. Your thoughts?<\/p>\n

\u2014 SIMMERING SUSPICION IN FLORIDA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR SIMMERING SUSPICION:<\/strong> A woman who is engaged has no business spending time alone with another man who has expressed a romantic interest in her. This is a big deal, made bigger by her attempts to hide it and downplay it.<\/p>\n

Warning: If you go through with this wedding, there\u2019s a good chance you\u2019ll need to start seeing a lawyer of your own.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> My husband and I have been married for 34 years. Ten years ago, he had to take custody of his brother, \u201cClay,\u201d then 56, because back in 1987 he fried his brain on PCP. For a decade, our life has been a daily living hell.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Clay has frightened off one of our cats. He lies, steals from us, can\u2019t and won\u2019t clean up after himself and doesn\u2019t wash his hands. He is the most disgusting person I have ever met. He\u2019s spoiled rotten and lazy and expects the only woman in the home to do everything. This is an ingrained behavior that he has had for years.<\/p>\n

I want a divorce. My husband will not put Clay into an assisted living facility or a mental institution. I love my husband, but I refuse to be disrespected by anyone. I told him I wouldn\u2019t ever allow any member of my family to disrespect him the way I, our marriage and our home have been disrespected by his brother.<\/p>\n

Read more Three arrested in series of chain snatch robberies in San Jose<\/a><\/p>\n

Abby, would you divorce your husband for subjecting you to this daily living hell for 10 years?<\/p>\n

\u2014 DONE IN MONTANA<\/em><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR DONE:<\/strong> I certainly wouldn\u2019t have put up with your mess of a brother-in-law for an entire decade!<\/p>\n

Still, if you are considering divorce, you must mention that to your husband. Offer him a final opportunity to make other arrangements for his brother. Be clear that if he continues to value Clay\u2019s comfort over yours, the marriage is over.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY: I am a boy in South Korea who likes boys. When I was in middle school, I loved girls just like everyone else, but it changed after entering high school. When I see boys in school now, I have started to feel the charm of them.<\/p>\n

These days, I\u2019m scared that if I reveal it, I\u2019ll be mocked by my friends and others. What should I do?<\/p>\n

\u2014 NOT STRAIGHT IN SEOUL<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR NOT STRAIGHT<\/strong>: If you don\u2019t feel comfortable or safe coming out to your friends, it\u2019s OK to wait. All of this gets a bit easier after you graduate, especially if you are able to attend a university. For now, focus on your studies so you can make that happen.<\/p>\n

To find gay or gay-friendly people to talk to outside your school, look up an organization called Dding Dong.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips wrote the column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more San Jose: 3-alarm fire destroys downtown tire shop<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

She says it’s not a big deal, even though he wants a romantic relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7028,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7760","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: I just found out my fiancee is seeing another man - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7760\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: I just found out my fiancee is seeing another man - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"She says it's not a big deal, even though he wants a romantic relationship.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7760\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-26T08:06:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7760#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7760\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: I just found out my fiancee is seeing another man\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-26T08:06:27+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7760\"},\"wordCount\":647,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7760#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/e0a61fb13ad8c491b1d1a120a9ed0d48.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7760#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7760\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7760\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: I just found out my fiancee is seeing another man - 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