{"id":7619,"date":"2026-08-24T11:06:16","date_gmt":"2026-08-24T11:06:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7619"},"modified":"2026-08-24T11:06:16","modified_gmt":"2026-08-24T11:06:16","slug":"dear-abby-my-husband-insists-on-splitting-the-bill-equally-and-thats-just-not-fair","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7619","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: My husband insists on splitting the bill equally, and that’s just not fair"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My middle-aged son is on the autism spectrum and has recently come back home to live with us.<\/p>\n

Read more El Cerrito police investigating killing at Del Norte Plaza<\/a><\/p>\n

He left home at 19 and has always had roommates. We didn\u2019t realize that he had autism until about a year ago.<\/p>\n

We like having him here but are having a difficult time adjusting.<\/p>\n

My son has agreed to help with bills and contribute toward groceries, but my husband thinks we should split all expenses three ways equally.<\/p>\n

My son works in the food service industry and earns a low wage, even though he puts in 32 to 34 hours a week. He eats at work most of the time and at home only twice a week.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m retired and live on a small Social Security check. My husband makes more than twice what my son and I make.<\/p>\n

I think we should contribute based on our income, and I feel that my son and I should contribute 20% each toward food and other bills.<\/p>\n

Every time I try to discuss this with my husband, he gets angry and accuses me of taking advantage of him. I\u2019m hoping we can get this resolved and move on.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2014 DESPERATE MOM<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR MOM:<\/strong> I assume you want your son to stay with you for the long term; does your husband feel the same? Is it possible he\u2019s being difficult about money so your son will move out again?<\/p>\n

The phrase \u201con the autism spectrum\u201d covers a wide range of needs, so I\u2019m not in a position to weigh in on what you should expect of your son. A licensed family counselor who specializes in autism may be able to help you and your husband understand how much your son is capable of contributing.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My fiance and I have been a couple for five years. We live together and are fairly happy.<\/p>\n

Read more Horoscopes August 24, 2026: Dave Chappelle, spontaneity can make or break you<\/a><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

The problem is his gaming habits. At first, it wasn\u2019t an issue because I also play the occasional video game. Since moving into our own place, I\u2019ve noticed he has started spending a tremendous amount of time on these video games. From the time he wakes up around 1 p.m. until right after he gets off work around 10 p.m., he\u2019ll log on and play for hours. Most nights he doesn\u2019t come to bed until 5 a.m.!<\/p>\n

With all his free time, he doesn\u2019t help clean or cook, and I get none of his attention.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure where I go from here. I have spoken to him about this habit, but he doesn\u2019t see any issue because he grew up constantly playing games.<\/p>\n

I need some guidance on this issue because it\u2019s driving a wedge in our relationship.<\/p>\n

\u2014 GAME OVER IN NORTH CAROLINA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR GAME OVER:<\/strong> Your fiance doesn\u2019t see any issue with the status quo because it isn\u2019t a problem \u2014 for him. He\u2019s got a pretty good deal. You do the cooking and the cleaning and contribute to half the expenses, but you\u2019re not even getting companionship.<\/p>\n

Tell him you need more from him because this isn\u2019t what you signed up for when you moved in together. Offer him the option of couples counseling so your issues can be mediated.<\/p>\n

If he isn\u2019t willing and this doesn\u2019t resolve the problem, then cut your losses and move out unless you want to spend the rest of your life as a \u201cgaming widow.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For nearly four decades, Jeanne Phillips wrote this column, which was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Asking Eric: We\u2019ve run out of polite ways to say we can\u2019t go to her house<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He makes more than twice what my son or I make.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7028,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: My husband insists on splitting the bill equally, and that’s just not fair - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7619\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: My husband insists on splitting the bill equally, and that’s just not fair - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"He makes more than twice what my son or I make.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7619\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-24T11:06:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7619#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7619\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: My husband insists on splitting the bill equally, and that’s just not fair\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-24T11:06:16+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7619\"},\"wordCount\":678,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7619#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/e0a61fb13ad8c491b1d1a120a9ed0d48.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7619#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7619\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7619\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: My husband insists on splitting the bill equally, and that’s just not fair - 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