{"id":7613,"date":"2026-08-24T08:35:33","date_gmt":"2026-08-24T08:35:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7613"},"modified":"2026-08-24T08:35:33","modified_gmt":"2026-08-24T08:35:33","slug":"miss-manners-can-my-female-attendants-wear-black-at-my-wedding-to-match-my-tux","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7613","title":{"rendered":"Miss Manners: Can my female attendants wear black at my wedding to match my tux?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: I understand that black dresses are traditionally not supposed to be worn at a wedding. But what if there are female grooms-people at a black-tie affair?<\/p>\n

Read more Today in History: August 24, Pluto demoted to dwarf planet<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019m planning to have my daughter and my three sisters stand with me at my wedding next year, and since I\u2019m going to be in a tuxedo, I thought they might all wear black, as well.<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: Congratulations on realizing that your wedding party should consist of those closest to you, regardless of gender.<\/p>\n

Most people still approach this by casting gender-specific roles. This comes of not understanding that the tradition dated from a time when brides and bridegrooms were not expected to have close ties to those of the opposite gender.<\/p>\n

But Miss Manners sees that you are still partially struck with that misunderstanding, in that you are considering dressing your groomswomen as honorary men.<\/p>\n

This brings her to another silly wedding custom: that of dressing female attendants alike, as if they formed a chorus line. Why not allow them to be the individuals for which you presumably value them, and choose their own dressy outfits?<\/p>\n

See? Miss Manners is not against sensible change. However, she still thinks that black dresses look too somber for a wedding. An increasing number of people now think they are too somber even for funerals, which are now styled as celebrations of life.<\/p>\n

But we won\u2019t fight that fight right now. One step at a time, she supposes.<\/p>\n

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DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: My summer internship went great and I\u2019ve been hired! But I\u2019m afraid I\u2019m going to ruin it because my boss takes new hires out to lunch at her exclusive club.<\/p>\n

Read more Train Day pulling in to Los Altos History Museum on Aug. 30<\/a><\/p>\n

I had to buy a tie, which is fine, but I just know I\u2019ll use the wrong fork. Help!<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER:<\/strong> Only if you promise never again to use that meaningless cliche about the \u201cwrong fork.\u201d<\/p>\n

The age of specialized eating implements ended more than 100 years before you were born. Even in its prime, it affected only a small class, as aristocrats scorned it and the working class ignored it.<\/p>\n

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If there are even two forks at your place setting, it would be surprising. A club, like a restaurant, does not know what you plan to order, so the staff cannot set the table for specific foods. If they could \u2014 and had, for example, a salad fork and a meat fork \u2014 all you would need to know is to pick them up from the outside in.<\/p>\n

But heaven forbid that Miss Manners should imply that table manners do not count. If you hunch over your plate, chew with your mouth open or otherwise disgust your boss, she could very well hold it against you, even if unintentionally. While it is doubtful that your first job will require you to entertain clients at expense account meals, your boss\u2019s reaction to sloppy eating will be visceral.<\/p>\n

Table manners are not that hard, and you could learn them in a few minutes. But it would be a good idea not to order any unfamiliar dishes.<\/p>\n

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Cupertino\u2019s Safe Routes to School program to hold Aug. 29 bike workshops<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m going to be in a tuxedo, and I figure they might as well match.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5289,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nMiss Manners: Can my female attendants wear black at my wedding to match my tux? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7613\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Miss Manners: Can my female attendants wear black at my wedding to match my tux? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I'm going to be in a tuxedo, and I figure they might as well match.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7613\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-24T08:35:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7613#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7613\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Miss Manners: Can my female attendants wear black at my wedding to match my tux?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-24T08:35:33+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7613\"},\"wordCount\":605,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7613#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7613#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7613\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7613\",\"name\":\"Miss Manners: Can my female attendants wear black at my wedding to match my tux? 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