{"id":7477,"date":"2026-08-22T09:36:12","date_gmt":"2026-08-22T09:36:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7477"},"modified":"2026-08-22T09:36:12","modified_gmt":"2026-08-22T09:36:12","slug":"asking-eric-the-kid-got-bullied-and-his-parents-didnt-want-to-make-a-fuss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7477","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: The kid got bullied, and his parents didn’t want to make a fuss"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric<\/strong>: My nephew is a fifth-grader who was called an ugly racial epithet by a classmate.<\/p>\n

Read more Harriette Cole: Why would you stay with a guy who says he\u2019s not your boyfriend?<\/a><\/p>\n

His parents did not want to cause a fuss and give this bully power over their son by calling him out.<\/p>\n

What is the best way to deal with a verbal assault when it involves children?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Vexed<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Vexed:<\/strong> While I understand the parents\u2019 reticence to give the bully the attention he craves, one would hope that the school has procedures to correct this kind of behavior.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s important for the safety and mental well-being of the child that they talk to a teacher or a school administrator about what\u2019s being said to him. It\u2019s possible that this isn\u2019t an isolated incident. It\u2019s also possible that if there are students who feel they can get away with racial epithets to classmates, they also feel empowered to bully in other ways.<\/p>\n

Your nephew probably doesn\u2019t have the tools to deal with this right now; his parents need to intercede on his behalf, not only to get him support and show him that they\u2019re in his corner, but also as an example of how to stand up for himself as he grows older.<\/p>\n

Dear Eric<\/strong>: My parents got divorced when I was a toddler. Father remarried to a woman for about 15 years until another divorce. My relationship with the stepmother was unhealthy nearly the entire time they were married.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Now we usually exchange texts on Mother\u2019s Day and birthdays. But otherwise, we have no real connection in a meaningful way.<\/p>\n

She does not have biological children or a current partner. Nothing has been spoken about this yet; however, I expect someday soon a conversation may happen about where she intends to spend her final days. She anticipates needing dementia care because her mom did.<\/p>\n

By this time, I\u2019ll have been the \u201cgood son\u201d for my mother and probably my father by handling their end-of-life matters. It is not something I look forward to doing again, yet it looks like things may end up that way.<\/p>\n

My question is about my former stepmom\u2019s finances. I have no information about her financial situation except that she is expected to inherit a healthy share of my father\u2019s estate, as will I.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

I\u2019d like to be prepared to talk to my stepmom if the conversation comes up about her end-of-life planning. I\u2019d like to know how she is handling her estate, and what if anything is earmarked for me to inherit. Is that rude? We have a cordial relationship, but it is not any type of real family love.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: My friend couldn\u2019t have known the gift would trigger me like that<\/a><\/p>\n

It would make the burden on my shoulders more palatable if I knew if she values me being in her life enough to direct inheritance to me or not. Can I still be the \u201cgood (former step) son\u201d if I ask about this?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Good Son<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Son<\/strong>: These are two separate conversations. You\u2019re anticipating being called on to help and you want to make sure you\u2019re valued. But even if you are thought of in your stepmother\u2019s will, without clarity in your relationship, you may still feel resentment.<\/p>\n

So, start by initiating the end-of-life conversation yourself. If this is something you suspect will be asked of you, but you don\u2019t know for sure, reach out and ask about it.<\/p>\n

Go into this conversation having thought through what an ideal situation might look like for the two of you. It sounds like the ideal may not involve you in an active caregiving role.<\/p>\n

Perhaps she\u2019s already made plans to move somewhere where they can care for her, or to hire help. Perhaps she has a senior life manager. You may be assuming too much. And, if she hasn\u2019t thought through her options, you might find that you\u2019re best utilized as a sounding board and someone who can do research for her.<\/p>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> In reference to the person who wants their significant other to take off outside shoes so there is no grit and dirt on the letter writer\u2019s bare feet (\u201cShoes Off\u201d):<\/p>\n

The letter writer is not wrong but, I imagine, sometimes the significant other needs to run in quickly to grab something or use the restroom. Repeatedly taking your shoes off and on is time-consuming and exasperating.<\/p>\n

Here are some alternatives. Gardening catalogs sell aggressive boot scrapers and floor mats to clean shoes. There are also large slip-on shoes that go over work boots to keep the dirt from falling off to the floor. Additionally, there are large sticky mats that construction companies use to keep workers from dragging dirt to non-construction areas. Have these items at the doorways for quick visits into the house.<\/p>\n

\u2013 No Shoes, No Problem<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear No Shoes:<\/strong> Thanks for these great suggestions. Additionally, other readers suggested having disposable non-slip shoe covers available.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: The way my boyfriend\u2019s little girl talks annoys the heck out of me<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: If I’m asked to handle my stepmother’s end-of-life issues, can I ask if I’m in her will?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5293,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7477","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: The kid got bullied, and his parents didn’t want to make a fuss - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7477\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: The kid got bullied, and his parents didn’t want to make a fuss - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: If I'm asked to handle my stepmother's end-of-life issues, can I ask if I'm in her will?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7477\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-22T09:36:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7477#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7477\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: The kid got bullied, and his parents didn’t want to make a fuss\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-22T09:36:12+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7477\"},\"wordCount\":919,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7477#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/389182809338810e47ff648c644f685f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7477#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7477\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7477\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: The kid got bullied, and his parents didn’t want to make a fuss - 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