{"id":7377,"date":"2026-08-21T08:36:32","date_gmt":"2026-08-21T08:36:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377"},"modified":"2026-08-21T08:36:32","modified_gmt":"2026-08-21T08:36:32","slug":"miss-manners-are-my-in-laws-gift-requests-considered-normal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377","title":{"rendered":"Miss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: My in-laws are always asking for money or gifts.<\/p>\n

One couple who had been living together for years \u2014 divorced and married, employed, with a home, etc., asked for \u201ccash only\u201d gifts for a honeymoon for their second marriage to each other.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: Is it a bad idea to write a letter asking her to lose weight?<\/a><\/p>\n

Another in-law asked for a piece of artwork I had created that was not monetarily valuable at all but had sentimental value to me. My husband wanted to give it to her, so I agreed.<\/p>\n

Another in-law couple had a baby and set up an online gift registry, so we gave them nice gifts to help their new family get started.<\/p>\n

Yet another couple is expecting, and the mother must stay home for undisclosed health reasons for the remaining two months of her pregnancy. They have set up a fundraiser with a goal of $5,000 to help them stay financially afloat until the baby comes. They also set up an online registry, and I chose gifts from that, as well as donating to their fund. We send Christmas and birthday gifts to them every year, by the way.<\/p>\n

I made soaps for in-laws to sell on my behalf (they\u2019d get a percentage of the sale) because they wanted to branch out with additional stocking-stuffer-type items for their Christmas events. They took the soaps and gave them away as gifts to their friends. I was not paid as agreed. I didn\u2019t say anything, but I didn\u2019t give them any more soaps, either.<\/p>\n

My problem is not the giving (or it didn\u2019t used to be \u2014 it obviously is now). My problem is that not once has anyone said, \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t expect a formal note, just a simple email or text will do. We\u2019ve received no acknowledgment at all. In fact, I have had to ask on a couple of occasions, \u201cDid you receive the gift?\u201d because we weren\u2019t sure it had been sent to the right address.<\/p>\n

Read more High school football 2026 preview: Peninsula Athletic League De Anza Division<\/a><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Am I wrong to be resentful? Is this the new normal? We aren\u2019t cheapskates, and we\u2019re as generous as our budget will allow. We\u2019ll keep giving because it\u2019s his family and that\u2019s what my husband wants to do, but how do I handle this? Or do I handle it at all?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve told my husband I would like a \u201cthank you\u201d when we give gifts, and he tells me it doesn\u2019t matter. I know it\u2019s supposed to be the thought that counts, but isn\u2019t that a two-way street? Especially when they ask<\/em> for money, set up accounts to receive the cash, send online links to their preferred gift items and set up registries?<\/p>\n

Does it really no longer matter? If not, I\u2019ll adjust my expectations.<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER:<\/strong> Of course it matters. But why would these relatives stop the cycle when it has been working out so well? And when they have an ambassador \u2014 your husband \u2014 to enable them?<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Miss Manners would set some boundaries, primarily with your husband. If he insists that this is normal behavior, then let him procure the presents and give away his own prized possessions. You have done more than enough \u2014 which already deserves some thanks.<\/p>\n

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Popular downtown Walnut Creek restaurant devastated by fire<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I resent having to give so much to my husband’s family.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5289,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7377","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nMiss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Miss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I resent having to give so much to my husband's family.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-21T08:36:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Miss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-21T08:36:32+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377\"},\"wordCount\":620,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377\",\"name\":\"Miss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal? - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-21T08:36:32+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp\",\"width\":1518,\"height\":1042},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7377#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Miss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Miss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal? - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Miss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal? - Next City Digest","og_description":"I resent having to give so much to my husband's family.","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-08-21T08:36:32+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Miss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal?","datePublished":"2026-08-21T08:36:32+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377"},"wordCount":620,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377","name":"Miss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal? - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp","datePublished":"2026-08-21T08:36:32+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp","width":1518,"height":1042},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7377#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Miss Manners: Are my in-laws’ gift requests considered normal?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7377","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7377"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7377\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5289"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7377"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7377"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7377"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}