{"id":734,"date":"2026-05-29T09:08:05","date_gmt":"2026-05-29T09:08:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=734"},"modified":"2026-05-29T09:08:05","modified_gmt":"2026-05-29T09:08:05","slug":"harriette-cole-i-ignored-my-cousins-warning-and-dated-this-man-it-ended-badly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=734","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: I ignored my cousin’s warning and dated this man. It ended badly."},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> A couple of years ago, I developed romantic feelings for a guy who is friends with my cousin. My cousin warned me that I shouldn\u2019t date him.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: Did I deserve to be scolded about the baby shower?<\/a><\/p>\n

I asked my cousin on more than one occasion if there is something I should know, but he never told me about any red flags or reasons why he didn\u2019t think it was a good idea \u2014 so I started dating the friend.<\/p>\n

Two years later, I learned on my own that this person was not only manipulative but a liar, too.<\/p>\n

After breaking up with him and going through a difficult time rebuilding my confidence and self-perception, I shared with my cousin some of what I experienced in that relationship, including emotional, verbal and financial abuse.<\/p>\n

Ever since I opened up about it, my cousin will not let me live it down. I don\u2019t blame that experience on him, but he won\u2019t stop reminding me that I did it to myself.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to drive a bigger wedge between us, but I don\u2019t like spending time with my cousin anymore because I know that he\u2019ll bring it up again. How do I preserve our bond and get him to respect my boundaries?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Told You So<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR TOLD YOU SO<\/strong>: Shut down your cousin by reminding him that you asked repeatedly why he thought this man was bad news, and he said nothing. Tell him the best thing he can do now is to continue to keep his mouth shut.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: I\u2019m visiting my sister, and I\u2019ve noticed that she has road rage.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: He might soon be my son-in-law. For now, he\u2019s the guy who stole my money.<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been here for about two weeks now, and after three days riding around with her, I decided to take cabs wherever I needed to go. She yells and honks and rages, and it just feels excessive to me.<\/p>\n

At first, I bit my tongue and hoped for the best, but when she kept speeding over speed bumps, I asked her whether she planned to slow down; instead, she chewed me out. She kept speeding and raging at every slow driver, every car that needed to merge and bikers who cut her off.<\/p>\n

I was uncomfortable, so I told her that for the duration of my stay, I\u2019d find my own transportation.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Her children kept asking why I don\u2019t want to ride with them, and I told them that their mom drives too fast for me. They told me that she doesn\u2019t like when they tell her to slow down. I don\u2019t think her children like her driving either. Frankly, it\u2019s unsafe.<\/p>\n

How do I get through to her?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Road Rage<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR ROAD RAGE<\/strong>: It sounds like your sister is an unsafe driver. The fact that she has children who are also concerned about her driving is a perfect reason to address this in as strong a way as possible.<\/p>\n

Sit her down at home when she is in a calm state, and tell her that you are worried about her rage; you think she needs to get a handle on it. Remind her that you will no longer ride with her, but add that her children have confided in you that they are upset by her driving.<\/p>\n

Suggest that she go to therapy to figure out how to handle her emotions better.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Peninsula man sentenced to jail for accosting pro-Palestinian protesters<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Harriette Cole: Now I’m tired of being told I did this to myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-734","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: I ignored my cousin’s warning and dated this man. It ended badly. - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=734\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: I ignored my cousin’s warning and dated this man. 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