{"id":733,"date":"2026-05-29T08:37:06","date_gmt":"2026-05-29T08:37:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=733"},"modified":"2026-05-29T08:37:06","modified_gmt":"2026-05-29T08:37:06","slug":"miss-manners-did-i-deserve-to-be-scolded-about-the-baby-shower","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=733","title":{"rendered":"Miss Manners: Did I deserve to be scolded about the baby shower?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS:<\/strong> I was delighted to be invited to a baby shower for my daughter, hosted by two of her friends.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: He might soon be my son-in-law. For now, he\u2019s the guy who stole my money.<\/a><\/p>\n

I thanked them for their generosity and asked if I could bring anything. I also asked if they would like photos of my daughter as a baby. They said yes to the photos, so I sent five pictures (no naked or embarrassing ones) and thought no more of it.<\/p>\n

The hosts must have said something to my daughter, because she scolded me and said to stop<\/em> offering to help with the shower.<\/p>\n

I am hurt by my daughter\u2019s angry outburst, and am trying to chalk it up to her anxiety and hormones. I apologized for embarrassing her, but now I feel awkward attending the shower. I don\u2019t want to do anything to diminish her very special time.<\/p>\n

For the record, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve been at all pushy otherwise. We live hours apart, and neither of us wants me to be at the birth, or even to visit until she and her husband are ready for guests. I do my best to give them privacy and space, and we have a good relationship otherwise. I have not even asked about baby names.<\/p>\n

I already gave them a very expensive item that they picked out, and I planned on just bringing baby books to the shower \u2014 nothing flashy to make a show of myself.<\/p>\n

Was I out of bounds making those small offers? Did I bring this on myself?<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: Yes, but not for the reasons that you think.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Your daughter is mistreating you. And you are allowing it because you seem to accept the idea that you are a burden to her in every way \u2014 to the point where you are pathetically grateful to be included in a party celebrating your grandchild\u2019s birth.<\/p>\n

Read more Peninsula man sentenced to jail for accosting pro-Palestinian protesters<\/a><\/p>\n

If you would like a relationship with said grandchild, it may be time to set some ground rules. Your daughter\u2019s anxiety and hormones are going to get much worse, Miss Manner assures you, before they get better.<\/p>\n

Please summon the courage to tell your daughter that she may not speak to you that way. Her friends seemed to want the photos, and if she did not, fine, but you are not to be scolded. You may mutually negotiate the terms of future visits and the like, but you will not live in fear of offending her.<\/p>\n

Besides, you may point out, she may need your assistance in the very near future and be in no position to scare off helpful, willing (and free!) childcare from a loving, well-intended grandparent. And she might look to the future, when she would not enjoy having her child treat her that way.<\/p>\n

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DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: We have a group that plays a game twice a week. One person never stops talking. How can I get them to stop?<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER:<\/strong> Feed them sticky candy.<\/p>\n

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Wembanyama was all business in Game 6 of West finals. It earned him and the Spurs a chance at Game 7<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Miss Manners: For the record, I have not been a pushy grandmother-to-be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":90,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-733","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nMiss Manners: Did I deserve to be scolded about the baby shower? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=733\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Miss Manners: Did I deserve to be scolded about the baby shower? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Miss Manners: For the record, I have not been a pushy grandmother-to-be.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=733\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-05-29T08:37:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=733#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=733\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Miss Manners: Did I deserve to be scolded about the baby shower?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-29T08:37:06+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=733\"},\"wordCount\":590,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=733#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/d6e357d2c0c1e09171c3fd5fa0d95fef.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=733#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=733\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=733\",\"name\":\"Miss Manners: Did I deserve to be scolded about the baby shower? 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