{"id":7061,"date":"2026-08-17T17:10:01","date_gmt":"2026-08-17T17:10:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061"},"modified":"2026-08-17T17:10:01","modified_gmt":"2026-08-17T17:10:01","slug":"hayden-panettiere-tried-to-love-herself-after-giving-up-custody-of-her-daughter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061","title":{"rendered":"Hayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

At the end of Hayden Panettiere\u2019s memoir, which she published several months ago, she wrote about learning the principle of \u201cradical acceptance\u201d in her years of treatment programs for drug and alcohol addiction<\/p>\n

Read more San Mateo County\u2019s former \u2018woman of the year\u2019 gets jail after $800,000 goes missing<\/a><\/p>\n

The actor and singer, who died Sunday at the age of 36 in South Carolina of a suspected drug overdose, wrote in \u201cThis Is Me: A Reckoning\u201d that radical acceptance happens \u201cwhen you accept a situation for exactly what it is, without controlling or trying to change it.\u201d The former star of \u201cHeroes,\u201d \u201cNashville\u201d and the \u201cScream\u201d franchise said this principle helped her walk \u201chand in hand with my triumphs and tragedies because they\u2019ve made me who I am.\u201d She also said, \u201ctoday, I really love that person,\u201d though she also said she was \u201ca work in progress.\u201d<\/p>\n

Among the situations Panettiere had to accept was the sudden death of her younger brother Jansen in 2023 from a heart condition and her ordeal with alleged domestic violence. But her greatest sadness, she wrote, was her inability to be the mother she wanted to be for her 11-year-old daughter, Kaya, first because of postpartum depression and then because of her struggles with addiction. When Kaya was 3, Panettiere said she signed over custody to her ex-fianc\u00e9, Ukrainian former world heavyweight boxing champion Wladimir Klitschko.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot being under the same roof with her every day has been the most gut-wrenching experience of my life, and it\u2019s hard to describe the layers of emotion\u2014including sadness, resentment, and anger\u2014I\u2019ve felt because of it,\u201d Panettiere wrote. \u201cI grieve that I\u2019m not the mother I thought I\u2019d be and definitely not the mother I want to be (trust me, no one should ever have to raise a child on FaceTime), and although I miss Kaya so much my heart aches, I know how blessed I am to be her mom.\u201d<\/p>\n

In her memoir and in interviews, Panettiere was usually pretty open about the dark times in her personal and professional life, which also included struggling with the consequences of fame, as the internet gave rise to such\u00a0 celebrity gossip sites as TMZ and Perez Hilton, which \u201cmade names for themselves by tearing celebrities apart,\u201d she wrote.<\/p>\n

Panettiere\u2019s career began at 11 months, when she appeared in a Playskool toy train commercial, according to Forbes. Starting at age 4, she became a busy, working actor, with roles in soap operas \u201cOne Life To Live\u201d and \u201cGuiding Light\u201d and in films such as \u201cRemember the Titans,\u201d opposite Denzel Washington,\u201d and in the \u201cScream\u201d franchise.<\/p>\n

Panettiere became one of the most recognizable faces on American TV at age 16 by playing Claire Bennet, a high school cheerleader with special healing powers, in the NBC series \u201cHeroes.\u201d\u00a0 But around that time, as Panettiere wrote in her memoir, trusted members of her team began giving her what she believed were amphetamines before red carpet appearances and interviews to give her energy and to make her \u201canimated, exciting\u201d and \u201ca social butterfly.\u201d Panettiere also described a couple of disturbing situations as a young female star when she believed she was being offered up sexually to older male celebrities, including an \u201can Oscar-winning actor and director\u201d and a famous British singer-songwriter on a yacht.<\/p>\n

Shortly after Panettiere began co-starring in \u201cNashville,\u201d playing teenage country sensation Juliette Barnes, she resumed a relationship with Klitschko, whom she briefly dated a few years earlier. They announced their engagement in 2013, and she gave birth to their daughter in 2014.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

But the birth by Cesarean section was traumatic because Panettiere said he blood failed to clot, so she had to have seven blood transfusions to stop her from bleeding out. She also developed an infection. When she woke from the anesthesia, she said she felt \u201cnothing\u201d for her newborn daughter. Over the next few months, she felt a \u201ctotal blackout of emotion, like my soul was dead,\u201d she wrote.<\/p>\n

This postpartum depression became the condition under which which her addiction escalated, as Panettiere described needing a rush dopamine or something else to break through the numbness. She soon became dependent on alcohol and Klonopin, a central nervous system depressant, even as she returned to work on \u201cNashville.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more Wildly popular restaurant with 450 locations is finally coming to the Bay Area<\/a><\/p>\n

But between seasons 3 and 4 of the series \u2014 when Kaya was four months old \u2014 Panettiere said she checked into rehab for the first time. She also received her diagnosis of postpartum depression. But \u201cthe anxiety crept back in, overtook me\u201d and Panettiere said she began using again.<\/p>\n

During the first three years of Kaya\u2019s life, Panettiere and Klitschko split their time between the United States and Ukraine until their relationship began to fizzle. During a 2018 trip to Kyiv to pick up Kaya, after she had spent some time with her father, Panettiere said he asked her to meet him at a restaurant. There, he presented her with papers, asking her to sign over custody of Kaya to him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u201cI want full custody,\u201d Klitschko told her. \u201cI worry about Kaya when she\u2019s with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

When Panettiere protested that Kaya had nannies and she had never been drunk and alone with their daughter, Klitschko said: \u201cI don\u2019t want to hurt you, but your friends have called me. I\u2019ve talked to your friends about how you\u2019re living your life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember every second of that day,\u201d Panettiere wrote. \u201cEvery (expletive) second. No mother could forget a single thing about the day she signed her child away.\u201d<\/p>\n

Panettiere considered her options. But she knew that a years-long international custody battle \u201cwould destroy me psychologically at a time when my heart and soul were weaker than they\u2019d ever been.\u201d She wrote she was at the beginning of her recovery, and she realized she didn\u2019t want to put her daughter in the middle of such a custody fight.<\/p>\n

By the time Panettiere wrote her memoir, any anger she felt toward Klitschko has dissipated. \u201cI don\u2019t blame\u00a0Wlad for any of my wrongs; I take full responsibility for my part in our relationship and my shortcomings as a mom,\u201d Panettiere wrote. She called him courageous, a \u201ctrue hero\u201d and \u201camazing father to Kaya.\u201d<\/p>\n

Despite being a long-distance parent, Panettiere believed her bond with her daughter was \u201cincredibly strong.\u201d However, she also made clear that the pain never went away.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always strived to be a positive person, but I grieve all the hours I lost to addiction, my broken relationships, and my loved ones who are no longer here,\u201d Panettiere wrote. \u201cI also know I\u2019m not alone when I say that the fact my family fell apart still stings. I\u2019ve spent years in treatment trying to make sense of these losses, and I\u2019ve concluded that the only thing I can change is myself and the person I want to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more Mild Bay Area summer on path to continue<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As Panettiere said in her recent memoir, she regretted not being the mother she wanted for her 11-year-old daughter, first because of postpartum depression and then because of addiction.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7060,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7061","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-things-to-do"],"yoast_head":"\nHayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As Panettiere said in her recent memoir, she regretted not being the mother she wanted for her 11-year-old daughter, first because of postpartum depression and then because of addiction.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-17T17:10:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Hayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-17T17:10:01+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061\"},\"wordCount\":1181,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/175299484a2460c925a6851f8c543a59-scaled.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Things To Do\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061\",\"name\":\"Hayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/175299484a2460c925a6851f8c543a59-scaled.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-17T17:10:01+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/175299484a2460c925a6851f8c543a59-scaled.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/175299484a2460c925a6851f8c543a59-scaled.webp\",\"width\":2560,\"height\":1927},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=7061#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Hayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Hayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Hayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter - Next City Digest","og_description":"As Panettiere said in her recent memoir, she regretted not being the mother she wanted for her 11-year-old daughter, first because of postpartum depression and then because of addiction.","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-08-17T17:10:01+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Hayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter","datePublished":"2026-08-17T17:10:01+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061"},"wordCount":1181,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/175299484a2460c925a6851f8c543a59-scaled.webp","articleSection":["Things To Do"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061","name":"Hayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/175299484a2460c925a6851f8c543a59-scaled.webp","datePublished":"2026-08-17T17:10:01+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/175299484a2460c925a6851f8c543a59-scaled.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/175299484a2460c925a6851f8c543a59-scaled.webp","width":2560,"height":1927},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=7061#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Hayden Panettiere tried to love herself after giving up custody of her daughter"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7061","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7061"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7061\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7060"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7061"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7061"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7061"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}