{"id":6766,"date":"2026-08-14T09:36:49","date_gmt":"2026-08-14T09:36:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6766"},"modified":"2026-08-14T09:36:49","modified_gmt":"2026-08-14T09:36:49","slug":"asking-eric-my-fiancee-dumped-me-and-now-im-considering-my-teen-co-worker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6766","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: My fiancee dumped me, and now I’m considering my teen co-worker"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric<\/strong>: Recently I was dumped by my fianc\u00e9e after dating for two years (no great loss according to my mother and friends).<\/p>\n

Read more Harriette Cole: All I did was buy my husband new shirts. I don\u2019t think I deserve this vitriol.<\/a><\/p>\n

I noticed at work a young girl, 18, just graduated from high school, who is cute and seems very nice. I am thinking of dating her, but my friends said she is too young \u2013 five years \u2013 and, as I have a four-year college degree, there is too much of an age and education gap to have much in common.<\/p>\n

Their advice is if I want to date her, fine, but also date older women, too, preferably with a degree. The concern is that I would get emotionally involved with this girl too soon after being dumped. In other words, don\u2019t get locked in yet. What do you think?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Dating Do or Don\u2019t<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Dating<\/strong>: Without making too much of your word choice, it\u2019s helpful to look at the way you described this person: a young girl.<\/p>\n

Now, she\u2019s legally an adult and only five years younger than you, but it seems in your mind she\u2019s in a different category. I suggest listening to that part of your mind and keeping this relationship casual for the time being.<\/p>\n

Differences in ages between adults aren\u2019t inherently problematic, but one\u2019s experiences in life can change dramatically between 18 and 23. Moreover, since you\u2019re coming off of a two-year relationship that was intended for marriage, it\u2019s healthy to give yourself time to process, reassess and grow. Otherwise, you risk rebounding into something that isn\u2019t set up for success because it\u2019s too weighed down by the vestiges of your last partnership.<\/p>\n

Use this time to get to know yourself again and to give yourself time to get to know this co-worker and others without pressure. There\u2019s no rush.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> In the last five years, my father, mother and youngest brother have all died. I have two living brothers \u2013 one older than me, one younger.<\/p>\n

My older brother has begun to be civil to me after a lifetime of bullying, and he and I have a careful relationship.<\/p>\n

My younger brother and I have comparable values but have never found an ease in each other\u2019s company. We have been attempting to connect and trust each other in recent months.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: It was awkward for my brother and I to be treated as a couple<\/a><\/p>\n

Recently, I caused some offense to the younger brother (I think by prioritizing time with my late brother\u2019s widow, from whom my younger brother is estranged for various reasons). I reached out to spend time together and he said no, thank you.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

He insinuated he \u201cjust needed a little space\u201d but I see him quarterly at most. I reiterated I was available to hear about his feelings if he was willing to be open with me about them, but he does not want to do that.<\/p>\n

I have never had somebody find my presence so painful or unpleasant that they have refused to spend time with me. My life is full but my family situation growing up was a painful one, and I worry that it says something about me, personally, that my sibling relationships are so fraught.<\/p>\n

I am sort of heartbroken about this. Is there something I should do about this, aside from cry my little tears, and then go about the work of my own life, and let him come find me in weeks or years when he\u2019s ready? Put my focus where my presence is needed, and not with somebody who does not want my love?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Solo Sibling<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Sibling:<\/strong> I\u2019m so sorry for the losses you\u2019ve experienced and for the conflicts in your relationships that are causing you so much pain. Relationships are two-way streets and it sounds like you\u2019re doing the work to meet your brother in the middle, but something is standing in his way.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019ve done everything you can to make amends, to build a bridge, and to keep open clear lines of communication and someone refuses to engage, it can\u2019t just be about you. This isn\u2019t a statement about fault. This is simply to say that he has something to work through, and you have something to work through and, right now, he can\u2019t work through it together.<\/p>\n

The losses you\u2019ve experienced, the grief that you\u2019re both navigating, and your painful family history are all contributing to this conflict in the present. Don\u2019t blame yourself for those. Give yourself extra grace and care. You may want to talk with a therapist about the relationship with your brother and what you wish it was. You\u2019re likely experiencing grief about this distance, too, and it will be helpful to process it.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t say what\u2019s going on inside of him, but surely his grief is impacting his thinking, too. So, try to extend grace to him. Doing so may make this separation hurt a little less.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: Should I try to take control of my brother\u2019s money?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My friends seem to think I shouldn’t get involved with her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5293,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6766","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: My fiancee dumped me, and now I’m considering my teen co-worker - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6766\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: My fiancee dumped me, and now I’m considering my teen co-worker - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My friends seem to think I shouldn't get involved with her.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6766\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-14T09:36:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6766#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6766\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: My fiancee dumped me, and now I’m considering my teen co-worker\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-14T09:36:49+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6766\"},\"wordCount\":926,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6766#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/389182809338810e47ff648c644f685f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6766#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6766\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6766\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: My fiancee dumped me, and now I’m considering my teen co-worker - 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