{"id":6763,"date":"2026-08-14T08:06:53","date_gmt":"2026-08-14T08:06:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6763"},"modified":"2026-08-14T08:06:53","modified_gmt":"2026-08-14T08:06:53","slug":"dear-abby-should-i-try-to-take-control-of-my-brothers-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6763","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: Should I try to take control of my brother’s money?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My mom passed last year. I\u2019m 50, and my brother is 52. He has never been good with money. He\u2019s gullible and lets people take advantage of him. He will not let me help him.<\/p>\n

Read more Pelosi says Biden\u2019s inner circle should have acted: 4 takeaways from Sacramento summit<\/a><\/p>\n

Should I get a guardianship for him or let him fend for himself?<\/p>\n

We already have a rocky relationship. I worry that taking control of his finances will make it worse. However, I would feel guilty if he mismanaged his money, and I think Mom would want me to help him.<\/p>\n

What should I do?<\/p>\n

\u2014 MY BROTHER\u2019S KEEPER<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR BROTHER\u2019S KEEPER<\/strong>: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. It\u2019s unfortunate these questions weren\u2019t settled before her passing.<\/p>\n

Because your brother needs someone to look out for him, and you are the only one who can fill this role with his best interests in mind, discuss this with an attorney.<\/p>\n

Of course, it will need to be explained to your brother. Don\u2019t put off talking with him, even if the subject is uncomfortable for one or both of you.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: Do charities and nonprofits share or sell donor information?<\/p>\n

For years, maybe decades, I\u2019ve made quarterly contributions to two well-known charities for children\u2019s cancer research hospitals, and I truly believe in what they do. However, over the last few years, I have started receiving an increasing number of requests for money.<\/p>\n

One continues to send me quarterly requests, and I promptly write a check. But the other one started sending mailings every month, then every week and now multiple times a week, not to mention the newer \u201clegacy program\u201d (naming them in my will).<\/p>\n

I have also received messages on my landline phone, text messages and emails, and none of this contact information has previously been given to them, only my mailing address.<\/p>\n

Read more Brentwood\u2019s city manager is on paid leave. He just got a raise<\/a><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Today, I received seven pieces of mail. Six were requests for donations, five of them from groups I\u2019m not familiar with, and I have the feeling my name and address were sold to or shared with other nonprofits.<\/p>\n

It feels to me as if they\u2019re spending the money I\u2019ve donated to print and mail even more requests, and I\u2019ll no longer donate to them. I will increase the amount of donations to local school programs.<\/p>\n

Is there a way to get them to stop mailing me? Maybe they\u2019ll read this and think twice about bombarding people to the point they no longer will support them.<\/p>\n

\u2014 FULL MAILBOX IN CALIFORNIA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR FULL MAILBOX:<\/strong> According to Give.org, businesses and charitable organizations do sell their clients\u2019 or donors\u2019 contact information to other organizations. If your name is on a list of subscribers to a special interest magazine or buyers of a certain product or service, it may wind up on a list used by various charities.<\/p>\n

You may be able to lessen the onslaught of appeals you receive by writing directly to the charities whose mail you don\u2019t want and asking them to delete your name from the mailing lists they rent or exchange. (A Better Business Bureau standard requires that a charity offer contributors an opt-out opportunity in its appeals at least once a year.)<\/p>\n

Enclose the mailing label or return card that came with your appeal when you contact the charity. Be sure to add the correct postage to their envelope on which you have written \u201cdelete my name\u201d or \u201creturn to sender\u201d because charities\u2019 nonprofit mailing rates do not pay for returns.<\/p>\n

For more information on this subject, visit Give.org.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Big Sur travel plans? Officials urge visitors to stay away as Timber Fire grows<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He makes bad decisions and he won’t let me help him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6763","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: Should I try to take control of my brother’s money? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6763\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: Should I try to take control of my brother’s money? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"He makes bad decisions and he won't let me help him.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6763\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-14T08:06:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6763#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6763\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: Should I try to take control of my brother’s money?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-14T08:06:53+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6763\"},\"wordCount\":692,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6763#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/400ddbc32064c99c18a90d5350216c76.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6763#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6763\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6763\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: Should I try to take control of my brother’s money? 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