{"id":6722,"date":"2026-08-13T09:06:43","date_gmt":"2026-08-13T09:06:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6722"},"modified":"2026-08-13T09:06:43","modified_gmt":"2026-08-13T09:06:43","slug":"harriette-cole-im-furious-that-my-daughter-is-dating-this-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6722","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: I&#8217;m furious that my daughter is dating this man"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: My daughter is dating a man who is 17 years older than her, and I am livid.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6721\">Miss Manners: I understand it\u2019s the bride\u2019s big day, but she\u2019s asking too much<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I told her that neither of them is likely in the relationship for honest reasons as he is a wealthy man and she is in her mid-20s.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t want to meet this man, but my daughter wants me to. She insists that I am judging their relationship before I\u2019ve even given him a chance. She says he treats her with kindness and respect, supports her goals and makes her happy.<\/p>\n<p>She keeps telling me that she\u2019s an adult and is capable of making her own decisions, but I can\u2019t get past the age difference and the imbalance in life experience and finances. I worry that someone his age should be looking for a partner closer to his own stage in life, not someone young enough to be his daughter.<\/p>\n<p>Whenever I try to express my concerns, my daughter accuses me of being close-minded and says I\u2019m letting stereotypes cloud my judgment. She says I should be happy that she has found someone who is successful, stable and committed to her.<\/p>\n<p>Am I being unreasonable by not supporting my daughter\u2019s relationship with an older man?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 Older Man<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR OLDER MAN<\/strong>: You should meet this man and hear him out. Since she is already in the relationship, at least you should lay eyes on him and be upfront about how you feel.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Ultimately, she has to make her own decisions. You are not wrong to be concerned, but sometimes these unbalanced relationships do work out.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6720\">Dear Abby: My daughter is stuck in a cultlike situation and she can\u2019t get a divorce<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: My husband keeps encouraging me to get Botox and lip filler, but I would rather age naturally.<\/p>\n<p>We live in Los Angeles, where many women my age are getting things done like this, so my husband wants me to \u201clook as good as the other women in our circle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At first, he would bring it up only every once in a while, usually after we attended a party or social event. He would make comments about how natural the procedures look these days or mention how many of our friends have had work done. Lately, though, his comments have become more frequent. He has even offered to pay for the treatments and insists that he\u2019s suggesting them only because he wants me to feel more confident.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>I already feel confident. While I don\u2019t love every wrinkle or fine line that comes with getting older, I\u2019ve accepted that aging is a natural part of life. I take good care of myself, exercise regularly, eat well and have a skin care routine I\u2019m happy with.<\/p>\n<p>However, my husband\u2019s comments are starting to get to me, and I wonder if he is losing interest in me because I\u2019m not getting work done on my face to appear younger. How do I get him to understand that I want to age on my own terms?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 Be Natural<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR BE NATURAL<\/strong>: Sit down with your husband and tell him you are confident as you are, aging naturally. What makes you uncomfortable is his constant badgering about you needing to refresh your look. Ask him to stop.<\/p>\n<p><em>Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6719\">Stabbing in San Jose leaves one in critical condition<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Am I unreasonable to not want to meet him?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5384,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6722","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Harriette Cole: I&#8217;m furious that my daughter is dating this man - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6722\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: I&#8217;m furious that my daughter is dating this man - 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