{"id":662,"date":"2026-05-28T09:06:44","date_gmt":"2026-05-28T09:06:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=662"},"modified":"2026-05-28T09:06:44","modified_gmt":"2026-05-28T09:06:44","slug":"harriette-cole-i-just-found-out-what-happened-to-our-savings-account","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=662","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: I just found out what happened to our savings account"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> My husband and I have been saving for a house, but I figured out last week that he is addicted to sports betting and that a lot of our savings went to feed his addiction.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=661\">Miss Manners: How can I smack down the gloating neighborhood busybody?<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I was completely blindsided by this discovery; I genuinely had no idea how serious the situation had become.<\/p>\n<p>Over the past year, we had been talking constantly about our future, looking at neighborhoods we liked, discussing what kind of home we wanted and carefully budgeting so we could finally afford a down payment. I thought we were both equally committed to this goal.<\/p>\n<p>I discovered the truth only after noticing several unusual withdrawals from our savings account that did not make sense to me.<\/p>\n<p>At first, my husband brushed them off as random expenses or transfers, but something felt off. Eventually, after I pushed harder for answers, he admitted that he had been betting on sports almost every day and that what started out as \u201cjust for fun\u201d had spiraled into something much more serious.<\/p>\n<p>He confessed that he has lost thousands of dollars over the last year trying to win back money he had already lost.<\/p>\n<p>How do I support my husband without enabling him, and how do I know if this marriage is still financially and emotionally safe for me?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 Gambler<\/em><\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>DEAR GAMBLER:<\/strong> First, if it\u2019s possible, move whatever funds you have left into an account that he cannot touch. If you can\u2019t do it on your own, ask him to go to the bank and do it with you to protect your money from his addiction.<\/p>\n<p>Next, pressure him to go to therapy. Gambling is an addiction that is bigger than either of you. He needs help to work through it and to learn how to control his behavior.<\/p>\n<p>You will have to decide whether you can live with him and his addiction, as it is not likely to go away.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660\">Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she\u2019s constantly clinging to my husband<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I\u2019ve been working for a company for the past three years without pay, with the promise that I\u2019ll become a vested shareholder in year five.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>When I began, it felt like a worthwhile risk. I genuinely believe in my boss and the brand trajectory. But now that I\u2019m deeper into it, I\u2019m starting to question whether I made a smart decision or whether I was being overly optimistic.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve sacrificed a lot financially to stay committed, and while I want to trust that it will pay off in the long run, anything can happen between today and year five.<\/p>\n<p>Part of me feels loyal and hopeful, but another part wonders if I\u2019ve undervalued my time and skills by working for the promise of future compensation instead of actual income.<\/p>\n<p>I am trying to assess whether this opportunity is worth continuing, but I\u2019m torn between feeling like I shouldn\u2019t waste any more time and feeling like the three years of work I\u2019ve already put in deserve to see some return on investment.<\/p>\n<p>How do I weigh these odds and my future?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2014 Measure Up<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>DEAR MEASURE UP<\/strong>: What kind of paperwork do you have that proves the guarantee offered to you? What happens if the company isn\u2019t able to compensate you in year five? Is there a contingency plan built in?<\/p>\n<p>Talk to the owners frankly and ask for an understanding of return on investment so that you can be clear about the future. Listen carefully and take action based on what you hear and what your gut tells you.<\/p>\n<p><em>Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=659\">Oakley-based petting zoo brings small, adorable animals all over the Bay<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Harriette Cole: At first, my husband brushed it off. Plus: I&#8217;m wondering if it was smart to commit to working five years for no pay.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Harriette Cole: I just found out what happened to our savings account - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=662\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: I just found out what happened to our savings account - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Harriette Cole: At first, my husband brushed it off. 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