{"id":660,"date":"2026-05-28T08:07:52","date_gmt":"2026-05-28T08:07:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660"},"modified":"2026-05-28T08:07:52","modified_gmt":"2026-05-28T08:07:52","slug":"dear-abby-she-has-a-boyfriend-but-shes-constantly-clinging-to-my-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My husband and I know a guy from work I\u2019ll call \u201cJon.\u201d His girlfriend comes over whenever he does.<\/p>\n

Read more Oakley-based petting zoo brings small, adorable animals all over the Bay<\/a><\/p>\n

She doesn\u2019t seem at all interested in being my friend, but she talks to my husband for hours on end. When I try to have a conversation with her, she ignores me.<\/p>\n

I tried to bond with her. She came over and wanted to cook in my kitchen, but whenever I volunteered to help her, she asked for my husband to help her instead. She sits by him any chance she can get and tries to make these inside jokes with him. It\u2019s beginning to upset me because she acts like I don\u2019t exist. It makes me feel like I\u2019m a third wheel in my own home.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s worse is Jon doesn\u2019t say anything about it, and she ignores him as well.<\/p>\n

Now she\u2019s talking about moving two minutes away from our house and is actively looking for places. I don\u2019t know what to do because we are good friends with Jon.<\/p>\n

\u2014 UNCOMFORTABLE IN WEST VIRGINIA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE<\/strong>: Enough is enough. Have you discussed this with your husband? If you haven\u2019t, start now.<\/p>\n

Point out that Jon\u2019s girlfriend appears to have a super-sized crush on him to the point that she ignores that the two of you are a couple, and the way she treats Jon is insulting and disrespectful. Then tell your spouse you no longer want that woman in your home or even in your neighborhood.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

If he\u2019s afraid to speak up, then you will have to do it. Start by telling Jon you don\u2019t want her around and why.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I am worried about my 26-year-old son, \u201cCaleb.\u201d He\u2019s severely overweight.<\/p>\n

Read more San Jose classroom aide arrested on suspicion of sending harmful material to student<\/a><\/p>\n

Let me be clear: I love him regardless of his weight, but I think he binge-eats to cope with anxiety and depression. A mutual love of eating was how my son and his late mom bonded.<\/p>\n

For example, when his favorite TV show ended its run, Caleb ate three pizzas in one sitting to celebrate the finale. Another time, he ate an entire box of brownies in less than 30 minutes \u201cjust to see if he could.\u201d When I suggest healthier options for his diet, or maybe that he should eat less, he says sarcastic things like \u201cvegetables are poison\u201d and \u201clet piggy eat his slop.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Caleb rarely leaves his room in the basement, and he lost touch with his few friends a long time ago. My son is emotionally immature, so it\u2019s hard to talk about this with him.<\/p>\n

I just want my boy to be healthy and happy. How do I get through to him?<\/p>\n

\u2014 WORRIED DAD IN VIRGINIA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR DAD:<\/strong> Stop lecturing Caleb about his diet because, clearly, it isn\u2019t working. At 26, your son is no longer a boy. He\u2019s a grown man living in his father\u2019s basement.<\/p>\n

If he doesn\u2019t have a job, insist he get one now. It will get him out of his room on a regular basis and perhaps give him some self-esteem.<\/p>\n

Some discussions about what he plans to do with his life once he is independent might be helpful, as would some sessions with a licensed mental health professional to address his emotional problems.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Woman beaten with wrench, robbed in El Cerrito<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Now she’s talking about moving to our neighborhood. What do I do?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-660","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Now she's talking about moving to our neighborhood. What do I do?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-05-28T08:07:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-28T08:07:52+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660\"},\"wordCount\":644,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband - Next City Digest\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-28T08:07:52+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":614},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=660#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Next City Digest\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband - Next City Digest","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband - Next City Digest","og_description":"Now she's talking about moving to our neighborhood. What do I do?","og_url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660","og_site_name":"Next City Digest","article_published_time":"2026-05-28T08:07:52+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"headline":"Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband","datePublished":"2026-05-28T08:07:52+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660"},"wordCount":644,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","articleSection":["Advice"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660","name":"Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband - Next City Digest","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","datePublished":"2026-05-28T08:07:52+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp","width":1024,"height":614},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=660#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Dear Abby: She has a boyfriend but she’s constantly clinging to my husband"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/","name":"Next City Digest","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/#\/schema\/person\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nextcitydigest.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/660","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=660"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/660\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/88"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=660"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=660"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=660"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}