{"id":6548,"date":"2026-08-08T09:35:21","date_gmt":"2026-08-08T09:35:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6548"},"modified":"2026-08-08T09:35:21","modified_gmt":"2026-08-08T09:35:21","slug":"asking-eric-her-jokes-about-my-nipples-make-me-feel-freakish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6548","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: Her jokes about my nipples make me feel freakish"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric:<\/strong> I am a 64-year-old male with nipples that seem to stand at attention practically all the time.<\/p>\n

Read more Devers\u2019 first-inning homer sparks SF Giants past Detroit to open homestand<\/a><\/p>\n

While my girlfriend doesn\u2019t seem to have a problem with it, per se, she makes light of it quite often, and I am starting to feel a tad on the freakish side. \u201cHow are Pikes Peak and Mt. McKinley today?\u201d is one example of the daily jibes.<\/p>\n

I have never thought much of it but am now starting to wonder about the causes and any possible solutions. I am too embarrassed to ask my doctor about it.<\/p>\n

Can you please advise: 1) Any suggestions for tamping down Pikes and McKinley. 2) How best to respond to my joke-a-minute girlfriend when she starts up with the nipple jokes. I don\u2019t want to be oversensitive.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Twin Peaks<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Peaks:<\/strong> You might look into the tape that runners often use to prevent chafing. This is different from regular tape in that the adhesive is formulated to be kinder to sensitive skin. Tape is a temporary solution, of course, but might relieve some of the momentary discomfort you feel so that you can focus on other parts of the situation that are bothering you.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s worth your time to talk to a medical professional that you trust about this. Your doctor has surely seen and heard everything. This isn\u2019t something about which you should feel ashamed \u2013 it\u2019s something that\u2019s just happening on your body. You\u2019re not doing anything to make it happen and even if you were, a good doctor isn\u2019t going to judge you or chastise you.<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t feel you can bring it up to your doctor, consider talking with someone you don\u2019t know at urgent care, for instance. But also consider changing doctors to someone you trust.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

As to your girlfriend: Sometimes comments that start out as innocent, even well-received, jokes can chafe as much as, well, a shirt on a long-distance runner. And just like the runner would do, you can and should make adjustments to get comfortable.<\/p>\n

In this case, that means telling your girlfriend, \u201cI know you don\u2019t mean anything by it, but would you stop making light of my nipples?\u201d You don\u2019t need to explain yourself further if you don\u2019t want to. Hopefully, she\u2019ll hear what you\u2019re asking and make the change. It\u2019s not overly sensitive; it\u2019s good communication.<\/p>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> I\u2019ve been volunteering as a tour guide at a small historic site for about two years. The site is one of a handful managed by a city department.<\/p>\n

Read more Garin Fire burns 10 acres in Hayward<\/a><\/p>\n

While most of us volunteers are seniors, the staff is much younger. They\u2019ve always been friendly and welcoming. I tend to get good feedback on my tours and enjoy it, but museum hours are limited.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Recently, a much larger site, managed by a state organization, advertised for volunteers. However, I\u2019m finding the atmosphere there to be not all that friendly. First off, two of the guides I shadowed were a little cool, even though it only amounted to an extra person on their tours.<\/p>\n

Since then, I\u2019ve worked with a couple of people whom I knew from the other site where I volunteer, and they are friendly, but the shift supervisors, who work the counter, often converse with volunteers whom they know and ignore me.<\/p>\n

I should emphasize that I\u2019m not a sensitive person looking for slights. My attitude, when adults behave like middle-schoolers, is to take the high road and ignore it. My enjoyment comes in giving tours.<\/p>\n

That said, the site is desperate for volunteers. It\u2019s not unusual for managerial staff to have to fill open shifts. I\u2019ve also been told that many people train but never come back. I\u2019m toying with whether I should make managerial staff aware of what I\u2019ve noticed, since it might be the key to their problem.<\/p>\n

Or should I just mind my business, run my tours and go home?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Disillusioned Volunteer<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Volunteer:<\/strong> It may be helpful to split the difference here. If you enjoy giving the tours at the state-run site, consider focusing on that for a bit and stay out of office politics. By showing up consistently, you may find that the formerly frosty staff will start to thaw and that could be your opportunity to see if they\u2019re open to some feedback.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no reason for anyone to give you the cold shoulder, especially as a volunteer, but it is possible that since they\u2019re used to people training and not coming back, they\u2019re making unfair assumptions about you and whether you\u2019ll stay. This behavior becomes something of a self-fulfilling prophecy \u2013 if they\u2019re rude to new people because they don\u2019t expect new people to stay, well, of course the new people won\u2019t stay.<\/p>\n

But if you enjoy your main task, don\u2019t let their behavior rob you of that opportunity.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Letters: Penalizing nonvoters would amount to a tax on the poor<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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