{"id":6505,"date":"2026-08-07T09:07:12","date_gmt":"2026-08-07T09:07:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6505"},"modified":"2026-08-07T09:07:12","modified_gmt":"2026-08-07T09:07:12","slug":"harriette-cole-my-brothers-wife-wanted-to-be-at-a-hotel-so-she-treated-my-house-like-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6505","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: My brother’s wife wanted to be at a hotel, so she treated my house like one"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: My brother and his wife came up to stay with me to celebrate her birthday.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: Is the parent\u2019s Barbie ban appropriate?<\/a><\/p>\n

My family and I mapped out a fun itinerary covering everything they mentioned wanting to see. It\u2019s safe to say some money was spent in the making of this production.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, though, at home, we found ourselves in disagreement on a few things. Although I bought all the groceries, breakfast items and snacks they requested, my sister-in-law expected to be served while on vacation.<\/p>\n

Separately, she refused to ever turn off the air conditioning unit in the guest room, even when we\u2019d leave home. I knew that would have a huge impact on my electric bill. I spoke to my brother about it, but his excuse was, \u201cIt\u2019s her birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n

I tried mentioning it to her. She scoffed and said that she actually wanted to be at a hotel and shouldn\u2019t have to compromise on a nice experience just because her husband had other plans.<\/p>\n

This soured the rest of their stay for me. I think it may be best for them to stay in a hotel whenever they visit in the future. Am I overreacting?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Hotel Amenities<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR HOTEL AMENITIES<\/strong>: You have every right to want to grant your sister-in-law her wishes for her next visit \u2014 let them stay at a hotel. You are not a maid nor her bankroll.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

The fact that she was so selfish to expect you to serve her with no regard for you speaks volumes, but more, your brother allowed it. Tell him that you feel they took advantage of you and you do not appreciate that.<\/p>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I gave my neighbor in my apartment building my phone number so if either of us ever needed anything, we could contact each other. Now he texts me all the time with all these annoying requests.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: Do I dare raise the subject of my boyfriend\u2019s showering?<\/a><\/p>\n

For example, he\u2019s asked me to borrow cups of sugar or help me move things around in his apartment. He texts me at least two to three times a week about something for me to help him with.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t mind at first because I thought that\u2019s what good neighbors do for each other. If he needed a small favor here or there, I was happy to help. But over time, the requests have become more frequent, and I\u2019m starting to feel like he\u2019s taking advantage of my kindness.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

I don\u2019t think he\u2019s trying to be rude, but it\u2019s gotten to the point where I hesitate every time my phone buzzes because I assume it\u2019s another request. I also don\u2019t want to create an awkward situation since we live in the same building and see each other regularly.<\/p>\n

How can I set boundaries with my neighbor but also not make anything weird between us since we do live so close?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Needy Neighbor<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR NEEDY NEIGHBOR:<\/strong> Start saying no when he makes requests. Tell him you are unavailable to help when you don\u2019t have the time or desire. Over time, wean him off the texts.<\/p>\n

At some point, say to him that when it\u2019s an emergency, he and you should use a special code word. Otherwise, you will help if you can, but you cannot be as available to him as he seems to want.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more DA brings new attempted murder charges against man accused of library shooting<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

She said it was her birthday and she shouldn’t have to compromise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5384,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6505","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: My brother’s wife wanted to be at a hotel, so she treated my house like one - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6505\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: My brother’s wife wanted to be at a hotel, so she treated my house like one - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"She said it was her birthday and she shouldn't have to compromise.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6505\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-07T09:07:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6505#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6505\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Harriette Cole: My brother’s wife wanted to be at a hotel, so she treated my house like one\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-07T09:07:12+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6505\"},\"wordCount\":655,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6505#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/934295b22278f63640af5eb98e8b862d.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6505#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6505\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6505\",\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: My brother’s wife wanted to be at a hotel, so she treated my house like one - 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