{"id":6447,"date":"2026-08-06T08:36:00","date_gmt":"2026-08-06T08:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6447"},"modified":"2026-08-06T08:36:00","modified_gmt":"2026-08-06T08:36:00","slug":"miss-manners-at-first-i-couldnt-believe-my-neighbors-insults-were-directed-at-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6447","title":{"rendered":"Miss Manners: At first I couldn’t believe my neighbor’s insults were directed at me"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS:<\/strong> My husband met a very nice, like-minded neighbor during a walk, and we invited him and his wife over for dinner.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: By the end of the cruise, the group was shunning me. I don\u2019t know what I did.<\/a><\/p>\n

Almost from the very beginning of the evening, his wife was very critical and rude and insisted on commenting on our home. She claimed we had too much clutter, too many gallery walls, that our home was a mess, and on and on.<\/p>\n

At first, I thought she was referring to another space or someone else\u2019s home because I couldn\u2019t believe my ears. It was not until she directed her comments to me in a way I could no longer ignore that her unbelievable rudeness hit me.<\/p>\n

She would not drop it. After the fifth comment about clutter, I questioned her constant negative comments on our beloved space by repeating the last one back to her, sarcastically thanking her for her gratuitous input.<\/p>\n

Let me say that our space is a mix of airy and cozy, and, until this woman, it had been complimented by anyone who visited. I pride myself on keeping it clean, tidy and inviting at all times. I was at a loss on how to respond and not stoop to her level of offense.<\/p>\n

Why in the world would she or anyone with a modicum of manners and respect do this? What, if anything, could I have said or done to curb her rudeness, if not outright stop it?<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: The situation you describe is not life-threatening, but it is bad, and it is therefore helpful to prioritize your response \u2014 to use an etiquette equivalent of the medical concept of triage.<\/p>\n

Read more A tiny fish\u2019s behavior suggests aging may happen in stages, Stanford study finds<\/a><\/p>\n

Just as hospitals consider it good form to stop the bleeding before you ruin the furniture, etiquette prioritizes putting a stop to insults before you spoil the evening.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Sarcasm \u2014 as you discovered \u2014 was not the way to do this.<\/p>\n

Miss Manners would have first attempted to change the subject, without initially registering any insult received \u2014 which perhaps you did.<\/p>\n

If that failed, she would have eventually ceased to respond, knowing that the silence would eventually register with the woman\u2019s husband, and with the woman herself shortly after. If the rest of the evening could be made bearable, you could still serve the meal.<\/p>\n

If there really was no stopping the comments, then eventually you might have had to pointedly stand up and thank them for coming. Either way, there is no reason to ever invite them back.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

As to why your guest felt free to insult you: Do you really care?<\/p>\n

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more San Pedro Square has never had a restaurant like this before<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I finally countered with sarcasm.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5289,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6447","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nMiss Manners: At first I couldn’t believe my neighbor’s insults were directed at me - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6447\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Miss Manners: At first I couldn’t believe my neighbor’s insults were directed at me - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I finally countered with sarcasm.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6447\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-06T08:36:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6447#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6447\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Miss Manners: At first I couldn’t believe my neighbor’s insults were directed at me\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-06T08:36:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6447\"},\"wordCount\":525,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6447#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6447#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6447\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6447\",\"name\":\"Miss Manners: At first I couldn’t believe my neighbor’s insults were directed at me - 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