{"id":6287,"date":"2026-08-04T09:36:54","date_gmt":"2026-08-04T09:36:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6287"},"modified":"2026-08-04T09:36:54","modified_gmt":"2026-08-04T09:36:54","slug":"asking-eric-i-hold-no-ill-will-i-just-need-to-know-if-theres-a-celebration-of-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6287","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: I hold no ill will, I just need to know if there’s a celebration of life"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric:<\/strong> This question may be way off base, but is there a way to find out if a Celebration of Life is going to be held?<\/p>\n

Read more Two Vallejo police officers involved in fatal shooting identified<\/a><\/p>\n

A very dear friend passed away last fall and was laid to rest. Sadly, nobody contacted me as to when the burial was because I had to move from our home.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m trying to move on, but closure may be affecting me.<\/p>\n

I have no ill will against anyone. I just want to know if there is a gathering coming up. I\u2019m probably grasping at straws here. Thank you for listening.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Sad and Missing Him<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Missing Him:<\/strong> I\u2019m sorry for the loss of your friend. Funerals and Celebrations of Life can help us to start to find closure when we\u2019re in grief. Without them, the grief can be harder to navigate. This isn\u2019t to say it will always be there, or that you don\u2019t have any options, however.<\/p>\n

First, reach out to your friends to find out if there is a gathering planned or, if there was already a gathering, if there\u2019s a program or a video or a remembrance website you can visit to share your feelings and memories of the deceased. It\u2019s not inappropriate to ask, especially since you\u2019ve moved away. People will understand that you\u2019re trying to process your grief and honor your friend.<\/p>\n

If there isn\u2019t something planned, consider planning something yourself. It doesn\u2019t have to be large. It could be as simple as having friends over to your place, or meeting in a park or coffee shop, and sharing stories about your friend. Community and commemoration are the most important aspects here. It doesn\u2019t have to be formal; it just has to be an opportunity for you and your friends to feel less alone as you process your grief.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> I have a friend who is generally wonderful and well-meaning but can be an exasperating conversationalist.<\/p>\n

She is rather full of herself \u2013 her activities, her opinions, her experiences, her history \u2013 and loves to talk endlessly about all things \u201cher.\u201d<\/p>\n

She is intense, goes on and on, adds unnecessary details, and hardly takes a breath. She is either terrible at reading the room or simply doesn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n

In addition, but related, she is interested in other people\u2019s lives or activities only so that she can give her opinion on the same, so it again becomes about her.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

What are some things I can do to stop this behavior without making her hurt or mad?<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: Who gets to decide who can cut in the checkout line?<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2013 Conversation Conundrum<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Conversation:<\/strong> You might start from a place of assuming she doesn\u2019t realize what she\u2019s doing.<\/p>\n

It could be an issue with attention or an eagerness to entertain that\u2019s going sideways. In that case, you could point it out gently when it happens. \u201cWe\u2019ve been talking about [x] for a bit. I\u2019d like to share something. Can we switch gears?\u201d Gauge her response to redirects like this. She may be happy to talk about something else with you.<\/p>\n

Or she might be resistant to it. If that\u2019s the case, you might need to be more direct. It will be more effective to talk about her habits in the context of your friendship rather than casting a wide net over her behavior with everyone.<\/p>\n

Have a conversation about how the two of you talk and what aspects of it you want to be different. Go in with suggestions that are proactive, like, \u201cIt would mean a lot if you could ask me about [x] more. Do you think you could do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Part of this may simply be how she\u2019s built. But if it\u2019s rubbing you the wrong way, it\u2019s good to say something so that you can maintain the friendship without hard feelings. She may not totally change her ways in every conversation, but that\u2019s not your job to fix. What you can work on is the way that you two communicate so that you both feel heard.<\/p>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> Just wanted to share a resource with you for grief support for survivors of suicide in reference to the letter from \u201cConfused and Grieving Daughter,\u201d who lost her mother to suicide. Heartbeat is an organization that offers group support, as well as other resources.<\/p>\n

If a person seeking help isn\u2019t ready to attend the meetings, the resource tab offers literature that I found comforting during the grief process of my brother\u2019s suicide. Best wishes and thank you for all you do.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Walking Life\u2019s Journey<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Journey:<\/strong> I\u2019m sorry for the loss of your brother and I appreciate this resource. Heartbeat is one of a number of very helpful organizations to which people can turn when grieving a loved one. Other survivors of suicide will surely benefit from knowing they\u2019re not alone and can find comfort and healing.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: Should I end things with my hard-hearted fiance?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: How can I shut down her self-centered monologue?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5293,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6287","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: I hold no ill will, I just need to know if there’s a celebration of life - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6287\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: I hold no ill will, I just need to know if there’s a celebration of life - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: How can I shut down her self-centered monologue?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=6287\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-04T09:36:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6287#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6287\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: I hold no ill will, I just need to know if there’s a celebration of life\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-04T09:36:54+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6287\"},\"wordCount\":914,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6287#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/389182809338810e47ff648c644f685f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6287#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6287\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=6287\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: I hold no ill will, I just need to know if there’s a celebration of life - 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