{"id":5900,"date":"2026-07-31T09:06:52","date_gmt":"2026-07-31T09:06:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5900"},"modified":"2026-07-31T09:06:52","modified_gmt":"2026-07-31T09:06:52","slug":"miss-manners-it-can-be-horrifying-what-my-son-in-law-leaves-in-his-wake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5900","title":{"rendered":"Miss Manners: It can be horrifying what my son-in-law leaves in his wake"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: My daughter married a great guy. They have two delightful young children and very fulfilling and busy lives.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: My wife rarely listens to songs, even those I write for her. Am I expecting too much?<\/a><\/p>\n

I do a lot of babysitting, both to help them out and because it\u2019s a true joy.<\/p>\n

The only issue is that my son-in-law is a complete slob.<\/p>\n

When he takes a shower, the towel remains on the floor. His boxers are right there where he stepped out of them. Dirty cups and dishes abound. The last time I babysat, he manscaped, and left his hair in the tub, which I had to clean up in order to bathe my grandchildren later. Things are always out of place, both inside and outside of the house.<\/p>\n

My daughter knows all this and admits her own standards of tidiness have fallen. However, she says it\u2019s his only flaw (true), and she can deal with it.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure I can. I am often horrified at what he has left for his mother-in-law to see. Sometimes leaving the mess alone is not an option (see manscaping).<\/p>\n

Is there a way I can address this? Do I speak to my daughter first? I love them so much, truly enjoy my time there and don\u2019t want to cause an issue. That being said, it\u2019s just gross sometimes.<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER<\/strong>: Ew. While you cannot admonish subpar or diminishing standards, which is not your business, you can address your grandchildren\u2019s comfort and safety, which is your business \u2014 at least when you babysit.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Miss Manners recommends you only comment on things that concern them and your ability to care for them (see manscaping).<\/p>\n

She recommends you speak to your daughter \u2014 who already seems to be aware of the problem \u2014 and cite it as a safety issue. Mention that you had to clean up the bathtub last time and although you would not mind, you are afraid that in doing so, you will not have eyes on the children and that scares you.<\/p>\n

Read more Today in History: July 31, Apollo 15 astronauts use a lunar rover for the first time<\/a><\/p>\n

The same goes for the dishes in the sink, the towel in the shower, the boxers on the floor \u2026<\/p>\n

DEAR MISS MANNERS<\/strong>: I enjoy going out with my women friends for lunch (just two of us). It is wonderful to get away from my house and my husband.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

But recently, two of my friends have suggested that their husbands, and mine, join us. I hate this idea because I don\u2019t care to be around the husbands, and it would severely limit our conversation (I\u2019ve been around their husbands before).<\/p>\n

What do I say besides, \u201cI don\u2019t want to do that\u201d?<\/p>\n

GENTLE READER:<\/strong> \u201cPerhaps we could once in a while. But I would love to also keep doing it with just the women. You know, so that we can talk about the husbands.\u201d<\/p>\n

And then Miss Manners suggests you show enough of a glint in your eye, to indicate that you have some really good gossip to share, in order to entice them. You can decide later whether or not you actually want to share it.<\/p>\n

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Flock cameras to come down in El Cerrito<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He’s a great guy, but sometimes it’s just too gross.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5289,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5900","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nMiss Manners: It can be horrifying what my son-in-law leaves in his wake - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5900\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Miss Manners: It can be horrifying what my son-in-law leaves in his wake - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"He's a great guy, but sometimes it's just too gross.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5900\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-31T09:06:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5900#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5900\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Miss Manners: It can be horrifying what my son-in-law leaves in his wake\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-31T09:06:52+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5900\"},\"wordCount\":603,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5900#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/afa6305b0bc2ad18ff319793b8dcff0b.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5900#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5900\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5900\",\"name\":\"Miss Manners: It can be horrifying what my son-in-law leaves in his wake - 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