{"id":588,"date":"2026-05-27T08:08:14","date_gmt":"2026-05-27T08:08:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=588"},"modified":"2026-05-27T08:08:14","modified_gmt":"2026-05-27T08:08:14","slug":"dear-abby-what-can-we-do-about-our-sisters-repugnant-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=588","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: What can we do about our sister’s repugnant husband?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: Four years ago, after our family gathering for Christmas, my brother-in-law sent me a message saying I looked \u201csexy\u201d in my sweater. I replied, \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more Rodeo murder suspect who claimed \u2018she shot herself\u2019 sentenced to 21 years in prison<\/a><\/p>\n

A year later, at another family gathering, he sent me messages asking about my car, which led to sexual advances. I tried to avoid his advances by being nice and redirecting them to what a great husband and father he is. His reply was, \u201cGood answer!\u201d<\/p>\n

His advances kept coming, and he sent me a photo of a naked woman taking a shower and asked me to send him one just like it, but of me.<\/p>\n

Confused and insulted, I called my other sister \u2014 not his wife \u2014 to seek advice. I then sent him a message telling him never to contact me again, and I blocked him. I didn\u2019t tell his wife because I didn\u2019t want to be the problem in their marriage. I was afraid she would blame me.<\/p>\n

My other sister said, \u201cIf he\u2019s doing this to you, he\u2019s doing it to others as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

Five months later, he got caught. He had been having affairs with multiple women for three years.<\/p>\n

He and my sister separated, and he moved out, but my sister wanted him home so badly that she could hardly function. It took a few years but, believe it or not, now they are back together and doing well.<\/p>\n

The problem: I don\u2019t ever want to see him again. Our family was hurt by him, and we don\u2019t want him around us.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

My mom is turning 80 this year and wants a big party with all her family. How do I tell my sister not to bring her husband? To make my sister happy, Mom has forgiven him, but the rest of us have not. How can we handle this without hurting my mom or my sister?<\/p>\n

Read more One injured in possible road-rage shooting outside Valley Fair<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2014 CAN\u2019T GO BACK IN CALIFORNIA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR CAN\u2019T GO<\/strong>: Your mother may only have a milestone birthday like this one once. Hold your nose, attend the party, be polite, avoid your sister\u2019s husband as much as possible and try to make the occasion as memorable for your mother as you can. Once it\u2019s over, you may not have to see this brother-in-law again until her funeral.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I haven\u2019t spoken to my daughter in almost seven years. When I got in trouble and was arrested for drugs, my daughter told me she didn\u2019t want her children around a drug addict.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

I have been clean and sober since then. I text my daughter at least once a week. She has four children I have never met. She doesn\u2019t answer my texts or phone calls. I miss her very much.<\/p>\n

I want a chance to show her that people can change and get better. I\u2019m sad and lonely without her family in my life. Should I give up?<\/p>\n

\u2014 UNACCEPTED MOM AND GRANDMA<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR UNACCEPTED<\/strong>: Your daughter may not believe in rehabilitation, or your bridges may have already been burned seven years ago. Because you have received no response in seven years, recognize that it\u2019s time to stop pushing her as hard as you have been.<\/p>\n

Give her the space she wants and cultivate relationships that will reward you in return.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more NCS roundup: Granada (baseball), SRV, College Park (softball) reach finals<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Abby: We don’t want him around after what he has done.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-588","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: What can we do about our sister’s repugnant husband? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=588\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: What can we do about our sister’s repugnant husband? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dear Abby: We don't want him around after what he has done.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=588\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-05-27T08:08:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=588#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=588\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: What can we do about our sister’s repugnant husband?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-05-27T08:08:14+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=588\"},\"wordCount\":636,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=588#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=588#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=588\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=588\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: What can we do about our sister’s repugnant husband? 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