{"id":5749,"date":"2026-07-29T09:37:27","date_gmt":"2026-07-29T09:37:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5749"},"modified":"2026-07-29T09:37:27","modified_gmt":"2026-07-29T09:37:27","slug":"harriette-cole-would-it-be-foolish-to-open-a-big-city-lounge-in-my-sleepy-new-town","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5749","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: Would it be foolish to open a big-city lounge in my sleepy new town?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I consider myself to be a social person. I recently moved to a more rural area in an attempt to experience a new way of living.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: She freaked out about a bee, and my al fresco party was done<\/a><\/p>\n

I think there\u2019s value in all different types of lifestyles, even those that are often seen as less glamorous.<\/p>\n

My new neighbors have made this town feel like home within a matter of weeks. Although it has been nice to slow down a bit, now I\u2019m looking for that same level of excitement that I was used to at my previous residence.<\/p>\n

I am thinking about bringing a New York City-style lounge to this town since there is no existing vibrant nightlife.<\/p>\n

Since I\u2019m not from here, I\u2019m not sure whether that would be something people would enjoy or whether I\u2019m just moving off personal motives. Does this sound like a good idea, or am I trying to bring this city somewhere it doesn\u2019t belong?<\/p>\n

\u2014 City on Wheels<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR CITY ON WHEELS<\/strong>: Slow down and don\u2019t do anything yet. Continue to ease into the pace of your town.<\/p>\n

Befriend people you find interesting, and suss out the rhythm of the community. Notice how people spend their time. Most towns have a bar or pub where people go to hang out. Are there any evening spots that people frequent? How many people live there with young children? How many are free to go out at night?<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Consider hosting something like a dance party. Maybe the gym at the local school could serve as a venue. See how people respond to a spontaneous fun activity. Poll them to see who might find a club interesting. If you decide to do it, you will need buy-in from the townspeople.<\/p>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> I\u2019ve been married for three years now, and I have to say, I definitely chose the right one.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: Should I tell my daughter\u2019s boyfriend he needs to commit?<\/a><\/p>\n

My husband is caring, understanding and protective of his family. I don\u2019t say this because he\u2019s perfect, though \u2014 far from it.<\/p>\n

One of the biggest disagreements we have is how he treats himself. I think he pours way too much into us without bettering himself.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

The most recent iteration of this was when I pushed him to finish his bachelor\u2019s degree. He did two years but never went the whole way, so I encouraged him to take this time to close the gap. He got upset and said he felt like I was critiquing his decisions in life.<\/p>\n

I feel like it\u2019s my place to push him to do better. Am I being a good partner or a judgmental one?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Pushy Partner<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR PUSHY PARTNER<\/strong>: Why is it important to you for your husband to have his degree? What does he do for work? Does he need the degree to excel at his job? While a degree can be important, it is not always necessary.<\/p>\n

It sounds like your husband is focused on his family and willing to put in the time to be supportive there. If he is also able to earn a good living, that may be enough. Not everyone wants or needs higher education. Where he may lack in that respect, it sounds like he makes up for it in his attentiveness to the family.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Northern California\u2019s largest private real estate firm turns 20<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: I urged my husband to finish his degree and he got upset.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5384,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5749","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: Would it be foolish to open a big-city lounge in my sleepy new town? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5749\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: Would it be foolish to open a big-city lounge in my sleepy new town? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: I urged my husband to finish his degree and he got upset.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5749\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-29T09:37:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5749#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5749\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Harriette Cole: Would it be foolish to open a big-city lounge in my sleepy new town?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-29T09:37:27+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5749\"},\"wordCount\":641,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5749#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/934295b22278f63640af5eb98e8b862d.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5749#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5749\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5749\",\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: Would it be foolish to open a big-city lounge in my sleepy new town? 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