{"id":5562,"date":"2026-07-27T10:41:01","date_gmt":"2026-07-27T10:41:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5562"},"modified":"2026-07-27T10:41:01","modified_gmt":"2026-07-27T10:41:01","slug":"asking-eric-im-told-they-have-my-childhood-journals-and-find-them-very-entertaining","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5562","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: I’m told they have my childhood journals and find them very entertaining"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Dear Eric:<\/strong> I grew up in a silent household. I was a shamed, rejected kid and learned not to speak.<\/p>\n

Read more Horoscopes July 27, 2026: Maya Rudolph, concentrate on learning<\/a><\/p>\n

One sister was the beautiful favorite. My brother and I were shamed, and we feared our father.<\/p>\n

Our divorced mom apparently stole and kept some of my childhood journals. She put them in her desk. When we cleared out Mom\u2019s home after she died, the beautiful, cherished sister took the desk.<\/p>\n

I have been told that my journals have been great entertainment for my sister, her kids and for my now-deceased dad\u2019s widow.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t even remember what I wrote. I know I did not learn to be comfortable speaking to people until someone in college pointed out that I never spoke. I started copying others who had better social skills. I learned social skills that way.<\/p>\n

I want the journals back, but is it too late? I feel ashamed to even ask. I am embarrassed that I am the family joke. I know when I ask it will cause my sister to laugh out loud.<\/p>\n

Also, I loved my deceased mom, and I am angry that she stole my journals. It kind of ruined my love for the only person who showed love for me. She set me up to be the family joke.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m thinking about asking for my journals back, but I feel so ashamed. Should I? It\u2019s too late now, right?<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2013 Embarrassed Adult Child<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Adult Child<\/strong>: It is not too late to ask for them back. They are yours \u2013 your journals, your feelings, your experiences. No one should have taken them, and no one should be reading them without your permission.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry that you experienced this breach of trust by multiple members of your family. It isn\u2019t right.<\/p>\n

As soon as you feel able, you should ask for your journals back from your sister. You don\u2019t need to debate it or give an explanation about why you want them. Your mother didn\u2019t give them to your sister so when your sister discovered them, she should have sent them back right away.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

It\u2019s up to you whether you want to re-read them at all, but if you choose to do so, you may want to mentally prepare yourself and try to extend kindness and love to the version of yourself who wrote them. Try not to view what you recorded in them through the lens of shame. Don\u2019t think about what your sister may have thought or said when she read them. What she thinks about your journal entries does not matter.<\/p>\n

Read more Today in History: July 27, horrific kidnapping, killing leads to \u2018America\u2019s Most Wanted\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

Indeed, if there is any shame here, she should feel it. If she did read and share your private entries, it shows a profound lack of character.<\/p>\n

When an adult mocks the thoughts and emotions of a child in this way, it shows that the adult is missing something or feeling a deficiency in some way. It\u2019s not a reflection of you. You have nothing of which to be ashamed.<\/p>\n

Dear Eric:<\/strong> I have a relative whose son graduated recently. My brother and I were invited to the graduation and then to dinner afterwards. The graduate suddenly got sick and didn\u2019t want to go.<\/p>\n

He did end up going to his graduation, but I was told that his celebration dinner would be at a later time.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been almost three weeks, and no date has been set as of yet. I am beginning to wonder if they had it without my brother and me.<\/p>\n

I was wondering if this is the right way to act. Is it somehow rude to invite someone to something and then cancel and reschedule the dinner without saying anything?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Uninvited Family<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Uninvited:<\/strong> While the scenario you describe is certainly possible, it doesn\u2019t seem like the most likely. Planning a celebratory dinner, especially with extended family, might pose a logistical challenge. Or the family might have simply gotten waylaid by other plans.<\/p>\n

The simplest way to ease your mind is to reach out and ask about the alternative date and reaffirm your interest in joining, if you are still interested in joining.<\/p>\n

If you have reason to believe that this family might have purposefully excluded you \u2013 like, for instance, a past pattern of behavior \u2013 it might be a good idea to address the root issue first. Are you sensing a conflict with these relatives? Do you feel their invitations are begrudgingly offered? Do you even want to attend their gatherings?<\/p>\n

This whole thing could be nothing, but if you aren\u2019t feeling secure in the relationship you have with them, it\u2019s healthy to sort those feelings out for yourself and then talk it out with them. This way, the next time there\u2019s a special occasion or an invitation, you\u2019ll be sure that it\u2019s genuine.<\/p>\n

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Harriette Cole: Nothing\u2019s wrong, but my mind won\u2019t settle down<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s embarrassing to know I’m the family joke.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5293,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5562","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nAsking Eric: I’m told they have my childhood journals and find them very entertaining - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5562\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: I’m told they have my childhood journals and find them very entertaining - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It's embarrassing to know I'm the family joke.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5562\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-27T10:41:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5562#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5562\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Asking Eric: I’m told they have my childhood journals and find them very entertaining\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-27T10:41:01+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5562\"},\"wordCount\":899,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5562#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/389182809338810e47ff648c644f685f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5562#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5562\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5562\",\"name\":\"Asking Eric: I’m told they have my childhood journals and find them very entertaining - 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