{"id":5498,"date":"2026-07-26T08:35:47","date_gmt":"2026-07-26T08:35:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5498"},"modified":"2026-07-26T08:35:47","modified_gmt":"2026-07-26T08:35:47","slug":"dear-abby-nobody-likes-my-sister-must-i-keep-inviting-her-for-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5498","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: Nobody likes my sister. Must I keep inviting her for holidays?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My unpleasant older sister lives by the creed, \u201cIt\u2019s my way or the highway.\u201d As a result, she has no close friends, no husband or partner, no social circle.<\/p>\n

Read more Today in History: July 26, Hillary Clinton wins nomination for Democratic presidential candidate<\/a><\/p>\n

She was \u201cstrongly encouraged\u201d to take early retirement from teaching because she couldn\u2019t get along with her co-workers. After retirement, she joined a few clubs but soon quit because they \u201cdidn\u2019t do things right,\u201d aka her way.<\/p>\n

Even though she treats me terribly, I have tried for years to be the better person and invite her to my family gatherings so she doesn\u2019t have to spend holidays alone.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, she is also the world\u2019s worst houseguest. Within minutes of arriving, she announces a list of things she just can\u2019t stand (and are therefore prohibited during her stay). These include certain TV shows, music, foods, ingredients, topics of conversation, any family story that includes her, etc.<\/p>\n

She stays until everyone has gone and then berates me for everything that I did wrong during her visit.<\/p>\n

If I don\u2019t invite her, I feel guilty that she\u2019s alone and has no other options. If I do invite her, I\u2019m so stressed that I don\u2019t get to enjoy having time with my children and grandchildren, which is very precious to me.<\/p>\n

What do you recommend I do?<\/p>\n

\u2014 TORN SISTER IN WASHINGTON<\/em><\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR SISTER:<\/strong> I think you have suffered enough. If you decide to invite your older sister to visit again, establish some ground rules.<\/p>\n

The first should be that when she\u2019s under your roof, you, not she, will decide on what entertainment is appropriate and what foods you will serve. And how they\u2019re prepared. No topic of discussion will be off-limits. If there is something she can\u2019t eat, she can refuse it. If something being talked about is not to her liking, she\u2019s free to leave the room.<\/p>\n

The second ground rule should be that you are not obligated to entertain her 24\/7, particularly if you want to spend time with the grandchildren.<\/p>\n

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Of course, she is free to reject your kind invitation, but if she accepts your conditions, the holiday will be a far happier one for you.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> My husband passed away last year. I live by myself in a two-story house with three bedrooms and three bathrooms. My kids want me to sell it.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t care for the stairs, but that\u2019s the only thing I don\u2019t like about my house. I\u2019ve lived in this house for more than 30 years, and I don\u2019t want to sell.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always done what everybody else, especially my husband, has told me to do. For once in my life, I want to do what I want to do.<\/p>\n

Can you give me some advice?<\/p>\n

\u2014 FINALLY FREE<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR FREE:<\/strong> My advice is to take your own advice. You seem to be happy where you are, so don\u2019t allow your kids to pressure you into selling before you\u2019re ready.<\/p>\n

I will add, though, that it would be wise to run your kids\u2019 worries by your physician. If there are health concerns that make it unsafe for you to live alone in a big house with stairs, it\u2019s best to listen to your doctor.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Rick Moranis met with standing ovation at \u2018Spaceballs\u2019 sequel Comic-Con panel<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: What’s wrong with living alone in a three-bedroom house?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5498","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: Nobody likes my sister. Must I keep inviting her for holidays? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5498\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: Nobody likes my sister. 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