{"id":5294,"date":"2026-07-24T09:36:22","date_gmt":"2026-07-24T09:36:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5294"},"modified":"2026-07-24T09:36:22","modified_gmt":"2026-07-24T09:36:22","slug":"asking-eric-i-found-out-they-used-my-photo-for-this-ai-nonsense","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5294","title":{"rendered":"Asking Eric: I found out they used my photo for this AI nonsense"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div>\n<p><strong>Dear Eric:<\/strong> I am finding myself more and more fearful of AI.<\/p>\n<p>I have family and friends who casually upload their personal images to be AI-altered. That\u2019s their prerogative so I never have talked about my AI aversion.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5292\">Dramatic new video shows army vet\u2019s full attack on New York City federal building<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Recently though, a few family members uploaded group photos including me to generate lighthearted\/silly AI images. This bothered me a lot, to the point I said something to one of the family members who did it. I said that while I know they had no bad intentions and the image was lighthearted and fun, it made me really uncomfortable, and I don\u2019t want my image or images of my family to be uploaded to AI. I felt like a total jerk saying anything at all.<\/p>\n<p>Now I worry that other images I share\/have shared are subject to this kind of frivolity by literally anyone in my friend and family circle, especially when it comes to my children.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not on social media; I\u2019ve been off every social media outlet for more than six years. It all scares me, and honestly, I thought everyone knew this about me. I just hear and have read stories of AI using images for deep fake, art, pornography and gathering personal data from images (things like location tags).<\/p>\n<p>Is there a good way to set a boundary like this when you don\u2019t have a social media account to have a tag line that explicitly states it? Or a respectful way to tell friends and family that doesn\u2019t make me sound like I\u2019m from the Stone Age sitting in my cave judging them and their life choices?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2013 Millennial Neanderthal<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Millennial:<\/strong> Because AI is new and we, unfortunately, don\u2019t have common practices around it, it will put your mind at ease to have proactive FYI conversations with family and friends about your image and those of your children.<\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p>If you wanted to put it out all at once, you might include a line in a holiday letter or something like that. But you can also just bring it up in casual conversation. \u201cI\u2019ve been thinking a lot about AI. I know it\u2019s fascinating to a lot of people, but I really don\u2019t want my image or that of my family ever uploaded. I\u2019m just letting everybody know.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If you don\u2019t want to go through your whole Rolodex (and I don\u2019t recommend you do), you may have to accept that this isn\u2019t happening every day to you and so the risk of letting it come up versus sending out a mass bulletin is relatively low.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Eric:<\/strong> After reading what Coco Chanel said about perfume, my wife uses just too much. I can\u2019t induce her to use less. Any suggestions?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2013 Too Much of a Good Thing<\/em><\/p>\n<div>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>Dear Too Much<\/strong>: It depends on whether this is a matter of personal taste \u2013 yours clashing with hers \u2013 or if the smell is bothering you.<\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5290\">Miss Manners: He claimed my dream ring to propose to his girlfriend, and I can\u2019t get over my irritation<\/a><\/p>\n<p>If it\u2019s the former, you may need to live and let live. If it\u2019s the latter, communicate that in a way that focuses on your experience rather than what she\u2019s doing \u201cwrong.\u201d For instance, you might say, \u201cthe intensity of the perfume irritates my sinuses, would you mind only wearing so much if we\u2019re going to be out of the house?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019d need to tailor the request to your particular issue with the perfume, however.<\/p>\n<p>Aromas bother a lot of people; you\u2019re not alone in that. For some its allergies or other upper respiratory issues; for others too much of an aroma causes a headache or worse. Think about how the perfume is bothering you and ask her to help you come up with a compromise that makes you both happy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Eric:<\/strong> I read the trials of \u201cSick and Worried Mom\u201d regarding talking to her daughters and her employer about the support she needs to manage her current healthcare. Regarding her work, you rightly recommended that she speak with HR.<\/p>\n<p>Your other advice was for her to speak with an employment attorney if HR is not an option. That is good professional advice. But speaking with an attorney about this topic could be pricey for some basic advice. Any person employed with an organization that doesn\u2019t have an HR professional has additional options, too:<\/p>\n<p>1. Ask a family member or confidant to do the research for you. (She could do this herself easily, but no need to add another task.)<\/p>\n<p>2. Find an HR consultant who can give some advice about how to begin. This is likely quicker than an attorney with more moderate pricing. You can find one online or through your local Society of Human Resources Professionals.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u2013 More Resources<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Resources<\/strong>: Thank you for this follow-up. You\u2019re right; there may be lower-cost options available to the letter writer that won\u2019t tax her valuable time.<\/p>\n<p><em>Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Read more <a href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5288\">Dear Abby: He\u2019s smelly, sedentary and no help at all around the house<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How do I not come off like I&#8217;m sitting in my cave judging them?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5293,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5294","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Asking Eric: I found out they used my photo for this AI nonsense - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5294\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Asking Eric: I found out they used my photo for this AI nonsense - 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