{"id":5130,"date":"2026-07-22T08:07:03","date_gmt":"2026-07-22T08:07:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5130"},"modified":"2026-07-22T08:07:03","modified_gmt":"2026-07-22T08:07:03","slug":"dear-abby-should-i-be-worried-that-my-boyfriend-follows-500-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5130","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: Should I be worried that my boyfriend follows 500 women?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> I recently started dating a guy I have known for 30 years. He has moved in and asked me to marry him.<\/p>\n

Read more Police arrest California felon riding an e-bike without a helmet, carrying a loaded gun and ammunition<\/a><\/p>\n

Our relationship is perfect except for anything having to do with social media.<\/p>\n

He has an account on TikTok using a sexually suggestive name. He\u2019s following 500 women and has just as many following him. I\u2019m worried this will lead to other things, and the fact that he hides this from me makes it worse.<\/p>\n

Of all the women he follows, I am not on his list, and that hurts, too.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure other readers deal with this issue, and I\u2019m not sure how to handle this situation. Is this a form of cheating, or, because it is social media, should I not worry about it?<\/p>\n

To my knowledge, he doesn\u2019t chat with any of them, or maybe he has that hidden so I don\u2019t see it and will probably never know for sure.<\/p>\n

Should I end this relationship because of doubt \u2014 which I\u2019m worried will turn into trust issues \u2014 or shrug it off?<\/p>\n

\u2014 UNCERTAIN IN SOUTH CAROLINA<\/em><\/p>\n

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DEAR UNCERTAIN:<\/strong> How does your partner earn his living? Following 500 women seems time-consuming. If he\u2019s hiding it from you, how do you know this? Your doubt, which is reasonable, already is a trust issue.<\/p>\n

I will assume that you know about his \u201chobby\u201d because you looked at his computer or phone. If you felt the need to do that, do not shrug it off.<\/p>\n

Have a heart-to-heart talk with him and ask what he\u2019s seeking from these online relationships. Is he a voyeur or looking for adventure? Once you know the answer to those questions, you will know how to proceed.<\/p>\n

Read more Unregistered gun found following suspected DUI crash in East Bay<\/a><\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: My mother is 86 years old. She has been widowed for more than 10 years. She works, sings in a choir, volunteers at her church and has three children who dote on her, but she desperately wants a man in her life \u2014 and the man she wants is married.<\/p>\n

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They have been together for more than five years on and off. They get together, feel guilty and break up. This has happened more than 20 times.<\/p>\n

She lies to us, her counselor and her friends about this affair. We are tired of her lies, her crying over the adulterer and her inability to enjoy what she has instead of complaining about what she doesn\u2019t have.<\/p>\n

Doctors, counselors and church members have all tried to convince her this pattern is destructive, to no avail. Help!<\/p>\n

\u2014 OVER IT<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR OVER IT:<\/strong> It sounds like Mom may be in love with the drama more than the man. The best way to deal with it would be to stop engaging.<\/p>\n

When she starts discussing her affair, change the subject. If she persists, leave the room. Let her know that you really are \u201cover it.\u201d Tell her you refuse to watch her make a fool of herself any longer. Then encourage her to talk about the parts of her life that are not so self-destructive.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Apple, Amazon lease Sunnyvale office sites<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Plus: Our mother lies to everybody about her married lover.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: Should I be worried that my boyfriend follows 500 women? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5130\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: Should I be worried that my boyfriend follows 500 women? - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Plus: Our mother lies to everybody about her married lover.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5130\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-22T08:07:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5130#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5130\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Dear Abby: Should I be worried that my boyfriend follows 500 women?\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-22T08:07:03+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5130\"},\"wordCount\":594,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5130#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/da2b25e1d5f51854817d4fde3f343c6c.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5130#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5130\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5130\",\"name\":\"Dear Abby: Should I be worried that my boyfriend follows 500 women? 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