{"id":5060,"date":"2026-07-21T09:06:03","date_gmt":"2026-07-21T09:06:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5060"},"modified":"2026-07-21T09:06:03","modified_gmt":"2026-07-21T09:06:03","slug":"harriette-cole-my-parents-dont-understand-how-hard-i-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5060","title":{"rendered":"Harriette Cole: My parents don’t understand how hard I work"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR HARRIETTE<\/strong>: I am a 44-year-old woman with kids, a job and a house, and I still feel like that\u2019s never enough for my parents. They always want more from me.<\/p>\n

Read more Miss Manners: I RSVPed to the bridal shower and got a flabbergasting response<\/a><\/p>\n

Ever since I was a little girl, I was never good enough. I\u2019m the only one in my family to have graduated high school, obtained a college degree and have a career. My parents never supported me through schooling, telling me that an education is a privilege, not a right.<\/p>\n

They don\u2019t understand how hard I have worked, especially as a single mother, and they constantly start fights. We will get into arguments over me not being able to bring the kids over, working too much, not calling enough, etc.<\/p>\n

How can I have a healthy relationship with them if they don\u2019t understand me? Do you have any advice on how to tune them out?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Impressing Parents<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR IMPRESSING PARENTS<\/strong>: It seems that your parents are putting all of their hopes and dreams on you. That is a heavy burden.<\/p>\n

Before you tune them out, try to talk to them. Remind them of how you have built your life and that some sacrifices come with that. You are not as available as they would like because you are building a career. This doesn\u2019t mean you don\u2019t love them.<\/p>\n

Maybe they can help. Could they come over more? Pick up the kids and spend time with them? Give them options for their involvement.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR HARRIETTE:<\/strong> My best friend booked a trip, and she\u2019s going to be gone on my birthday.<\/p>\n

I have been planning my 30th birthday for four months; I put so much time and effort into planning it, and she won\u2019t be attending. We\u2019ve been friends for eight years, and I just assumed that she was going to be there.<\/p>\n

Read more Dear Abby: We will not be going to this rude man\u2019s wedding. Do we have to send a gift?<\/a><\/p>\n

I asked her why she scheduled her vacation during this time knowing that I have my party planned, and she said it was the only time that worked for her schedule.<\/p>\n

I understand that people have busy lives and that vacations often have to be planned around work, family and finances, but I can\u2019t help but feel hurt.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

Part of me feels like if attending my birthday was important to her, she would have found another time to travel. Another part of me wonders whether I\u2019m expecting too much and whether I\u2019m making this more personal than it really is.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to start an argument or make her feel guilty for taking a trip, but I\u2019m sad and disappointed she can\u2019t be there with me to celebrate.<\/p>\n

Do you think I\u2019m overreacting and having too high of expectations of my friend or is it fair to be this upset?<\/p>\n

\u2014 Not a Good Friend<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR NOT A GOOD FRIEND:<\/strong> You have every right to feel hurt. Your best friend was well aware of your trip.<\/p>\n

That said, it\u2019s time to pivot. Go back to your party. Focus on all the details that make you happy. You can tell your friend how hurt you are, but move on.<\/p>\n

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c\/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Review: IQUNIX MQ80 is a low-profile mechanical keyboard with top features<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No matter what I do, they always want more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nHarriette Cole: My parents don’t understand how hard I work - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5060\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Harriette Cole: My parents don’t understand how hard I work - Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"No matter what I do, they always want more.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5060\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Next City Digest\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-21T09:06:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5060#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5060\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/13065d40d633843429ac57d4e5c06f9b\"},\"headline\":\"Harriette Cole: My parents don’t understand how hard I work\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-21T09:06:03+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5060\"},\"wordCount\":626,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5060#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/05\\\/0139233f8c854ca253912d1b9432926f.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Advice\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5060#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5060\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nextcitydigest.com\\\/?p=5060\",\"name\":\"Harriette Cole: My parents don’t understand how hard I work - 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