{"id":5058,"date":"2026-07-21T08:06:00","date_gmt":"2026-07-21T08:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5058"},"modified":"2026-07-21T08:06:00","modified_gmt":"2026-07-21T08:06:00","slug":"dear-abby-we-will-not-be-going-to-this-rude-mans-wedding-do-we-have-to-send-a-gift","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5058","title":{"rendered":"Dear Abby: We will not be going to this rude man’s wedding. Do we have to send a gift?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: Our nephew \u201cConrad\u201d is engaged to be married soon. For several reasons, we are unable to attend the wedding.<\/p>\n

Read more Review: IQUNIX MQ80 is a low-profile mechanical keyboard with top features<\/a><\/p>\n

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn\u2019t hesitate to send a generous gift as I have for our other nieces and nephews. However, Conrad is not normal.<\/p>\n

He doesn\u2019t speak to me, my husband or our children, two of whom are his age. We have never done anything to offend him, as far as I know, and it\u2019s not just our family. He also ignores other specific family members.<\/p>\n

Conrad\u2019s mother describes him as \u201cthe kindest\u201d and \u201cmost loving\u201d person. However, we have never seen that side of him. We have witnessed only narcissism and rudeness. He speaks only to those he thinks elevate his status or make him look good in some way.<\/p>\n

If, according to Conrad, we do not exist, are we still obligated to send a wedding gift?<\/p>\n

\u2014 INVISIBLE IN THE SOUTHERN PLAINS<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR INVISIBLE<\/strong>: Are you certain you will receive a wedding invitation from this nephew? Technically, if you don\u2019t attend, you\u2019re not required to give him anything.<\/p>\n

However, in light of the fact that you have been generous to your other nieces and nephews, it might be more diplomatic to send a less expensive token gift to mollify his parents.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

DEAR ABBY<\/strong>: I have been married for 10 years. For the first three years, I tried to get closer to my in-laws but was told I wasn\u2019t welcome.<\/p>\n

I knew they didn\u2019t like me, but I tried my hardest to win them over because family is important to me. In the end, I was asked to leave their house.<\/p>\n

Read more Drunk Fremont driver who killed recent college graduate gets 6 years in prison<\/a><\/p>\n

My husband was on my side, but I realized I couldn\u2019t separate him from his family. So, for seven years he\u2019s had the support of his family and mine.<\/p>\n

One of his siblings is now sick, and it\u2019s looking grim. I do not feel my presence is required at the funeral as no one in his family likes me. Am I wrong? Anytime I run into his family, they are confrontational.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u2014 STAYING AWAY IN ILLINOIS<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR STAYING AWAY<\/strong>: Ask your husband if he would like your emotional support at his sibling\u2019s funeral. Bear in mind that funerals do not bring out the best in some people, and your in-laws will be no exception. Then do as your husband requests but have a quick getaway plan in place in case you need to leave.<\/p>\n

DEAR ABBY:<\/strong> Two of our children are planning a European vacation with their families. My wife is upset because they didn\u2019t invite her and stated bluntly that she\u2019s not welcome to join them.<\/p>\n

How can we convince her not to take their decision personally?<\/p>\n

\u2014 MAYBE NEXT TIME IN MASSACHUSETTS<\/em><\/p>\n

DEAR MAYBE:<\/strong> Surely your wife is mature enough to understand that when a young family takes a trip, she should not expect to be automatically included?<\/p>\n

They are entitled to some time to make memories together. If she insists on taking it personally, there is nothing you can do to convince her, so let her sulk it out.<\/p>\n

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Adames\u2019 whirlwind ninth inning headlines SF Giants\u2019 gutting walk-off loss to Royals<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do we have to send a gift? Plus: I was asked to leave my in-laws’ house.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":88,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5058","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nDear Abby: We will not be going to this rude man’s wedding. Do we have to send a gift? - Next City Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nextcitydigest.com\/?p=5058\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear Abby: We will not be going to this rude man’s wedding. 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